It was all a matter of one week. I came back from Bologna last Saturday with a week of healthy sleep, food and relaxed life behind me. I expected the effects to wear off at some point, but I have to admit that I wouldn't have imagined that I'd be a wreck so quickly. I'm caught in the dilemma between giving the details of my schedule (supporting my argument and complaining for half an hour) or just trusting you to believe that I've never in my life been so busy before (not supporting my argument but saving you having to read my complaints). I'll go for the second option. I'll give a short list of the happy/exciting things going on though.
1. I've been testing 11 people for my research project so far. This means that I'm about halfway through the testing, which makes me hopeful and happy that I will soon finish the practical part of my project. For those interested, the project is officially listed in the science department in cognitive neuroscience, but there's just as much psychology and maybe even more lingustics in it as cog sci at this point. Imagine the following scenario: 2 research groups found contradicting results. The findings rest on reaction time studies, and my supervisor (who trusts that the results of the other group cannot be right, because then his theory would be wrong) had the idea that the results of this group were due to systematically skewed stimuli. In fact, I find this quite plausible, because the stimuli do seem to sound more natural in one condition (which led to shorter RTs) than in the other one, so now I'm testing whether there really is a difference. If so, I'll repair the stimuli and run the original experiment to see whether the conclusions still hold. And - by the way - it's about verb phrase ellipsis reconstruction, for those who are into linguistics.
2. The ETSI project is starting next week and we (the research team) are exitedly preparing the materials for a test run and for the first meeting with the students who will be involved in collecting the language data for us. I realize that I haven't explained what this project entails either... And it is too late to explain it now :) Shortly: I'm working with an international research group, Rosemary (teacher) and Bernat (classmate) to organize large-scale data collection from 28 languages for the establishment of a European standard on voice commands for electronic devices.
3. We're preparing the ASIC elections. Soon we'll know the people who will (or at least would like to) take over from us and represent the students next year. It's quite an exciting thing to look forward to, actually. People still have a week to decide whether they would like to run and to write their election statements. I can hardly believe it was already a year ago that I was writing mine...
Thinking about these things actually made me feel much better :) Now, I'll go and chief in our beloved Bar. Night night.
Friday, 30 March 2007
Wednesday, 28 March 2007
Not superhuman
I asked Robert Dunn, my psychopathology teacher, whether I could still make an A by the end of the semester, despite the fact that I did badly on the midterm test. Naturally, since he is a psychologist, he didn't answer my question but dived into my (un)conscious and asked what happened after last semester. I explained that I might have taken a bit too much on and that I need to make consessions here and there, and since studying is the easiest to take away bits and pieces from, the results were not unexpected.
"So, you're learning that you are not superhuman after all?"
Hm, yeah, I guess. A good way of putting it. I'm starting to explore my limits. I'm coping quite well, but Robert is right. I'm doing ASIC, which requires a lot of time and effort. Alongside ASIC, people are encouraged to take 2 or 3 courses. I'm doing 4. One of them is fulfilling my research project requirement, which people usually get to do in their last year and not during the second. I'm chiefing in the Bar, which is a lot of fun, but I'm losing half days with it. When you go to bed between 5 and 6 after a long night, it's not likely that you'll get up before noon. (Except for today. I went to bed at 5 50 and I had to give a workshop at 9 00. Not nice.) And I have two jobs.
Sometimes I ask myself: Will I be completely bored without ASIC next semester? Maybe I'll run for BarCo. After all, I'm quite organized in my work; I would be good in scheduling people for shifts. I would have more time to spend in the Bar too, I could finally get back to the routine of taking over shifts. I might also write a thesis. I have this vague feeling that my research project won't completely come to an end, and I could just take the topic up from where the dark power of the deadline forces me to finish my paper. And of course, Joram will be back too. I think we both learnt some things about our social needs for example, and we'll try to use this new knowledge constructively.
However, the next semester is far-far future for now... This semester will definitely be exciting. A lot of challenge.
Keep swimming. Sinking is not an option.
"So, you're learning that you are not superhuman after all?"
Hm, yeah, I guess. A good way of putting it. I'm starting to explore my limits. I'm coping quite well, but Robert is right. I'm doing ASIC, which requires a lot of time and effort. Alongside ASIC, people are encouraged to take 2 or 3 courses. I'm doing 4. One of them is fulfilling my research project requirement, which people usually get to do in their last year and not during the second. I'm chiefing in the Bar, which is a lot of fun, but I'm losing half days with it. When you go to bed between 5 and 6 after a long night, it's not likely that you'll get up before noon. (Except for today. I went to bed at 5 50 and I had to give a workshop at 9 00. Not nice.) And I have two jobs.
Sometimes I ask myself: Will I be completely bored without ASIC next semester? Maybe I'll run for BarCo. After all, I'm quite organized in my work; I would be good in scheduling people for shifts. I would have more time to spend in the Bar too, I could finally get back to the routine of taking over shifts. I might also write a thesis. I have this vague feeling that my research project won't completely come to an end, and I could just take the topic up from where the dark power of the deadline forces me to finish my paper. And of course, Joram will be back too. I think we both learnt some things about our social needs for example, and we'll try to use this new knowledge constructively.
However, the next semester is far-far future for now... This semester will definitely be exciting. A lot of challenge.
Keep swimming. Sinking is not an option.
Saturday, 24 March 2007
Bologna II.
When I wrote that I was going to write another or a couple more posts this week I was already sure that I'll only do so from Utrecht. If you know me well, you probably knew it too. The reason is very simple: finally, after 2-3 months without the loved one, I could spend a week with him, and I'd rather spent my time doing something substantial and then later report on it to all the interested souls. So, now that I am sitting in my cold tower room, next to my messy table and in front of my untouched luggage, here are some further highlights of the week in a random order.
Basic Italian vocabulary.
The two most important and most frequently used sentences that I heard:
No ti preoccupare. Don't worry.
Bo. I don't know/Whatever.
A perfect representation of Italian lifestyle.
Bed II. I couldn't help it; that bed was just killing my back and my arms. We figured that it helps to put the mattress on the floor but it was still very uncomfortable. Have you ever slept on a very soft, uncomfortable surface? It is just as bad as curling up in a plane seat or on the train, where you wake up twice as tired as you were when you fell asleep. The solution was easy: a big, big mattress from the housemaster, that filled up the whole room but provided the prefect surface to ... sleep, of course ;)
UC in Bologna. I knew that Simone and her sister were going to come to Bologna to see Frerk. Two days before leaving I also heard that Ifeta and some of her friends have Bologna as their destination too. I think it was the second night when while walking under the porticoes of Bologna, we ran into Ifeta, Andrej and Martin. Although we didn't plan any activities together, we bumped into each other again, when walking in the city. That city seems small. And of course, there were my little muffins, Simone and her sister, who joined Frerk for a day, and then we joined them for a nice evening. Later, at the airport we also saw four frat guys, who spent their time in Rome but flew back from Pisa. Again, the world is tiny.
Spritz. Discovery of the holiday. According to Joram, it should be a standard drink in the Bar, and I fully agree. Take a long drink glass, put a lot of ice in it, pour a shot of Campari over it and fill the glass up with sparkling wine. It's very refreshing! The sparkling wine can be substituted with white wine and soda, so we do have everything in the Bar that is needed for it. I'll talk to Diederik about it. Maybe we could first offer it as a special on a Tuesday night.
Aperitivo. Aperitivo is a meal before dinner, or in the vocabulary of students rather instead of dinner. You go to a bar or a restaurant that offers an aperitivo, you order and pay for a cocktail and you are welcome to eat as much as you can of the little snacks provided on a table. It's a great invention, as if you are a poor student you can get a drink and a meal for 4 euros. You can also choose to go to a classy place and eat fancy stuff made with walnuts, cream cheese, smoked ham, crabs etc. I love the concept.
Nightlife. From Joram's e-mails I always got the impression that plans for the night arrive pretty suddenly and usually through an sms or a call. So true. There were a couple of things though that were fixed on our to do list for the week. First, the jazz night at La Scuderia, the base of university students. Beautiful and relaxing. Then, the Thursday night gay party. We went through great trouble and half the city to get me an "arcigay" card that would enable me to enter. At the end, it was worth it, but I was missing the usual gang that I go to the Pann with every once in a while (the monthly gay party in Utrecht). We saw a beautiful sign above the counter of the bar, stating that after 3 am. they only serve ANAL due to the new regulations. I was puzzled. Then I was enlightened: anal stands for "analcolici". Beautifully put, isn't it? And of course, we couldn't miss eating out at some nice places. I wonder how I'll manage to readapt to UC food.
Piercing. From now on, expect to see me with a nose piercing. I have been playing with the idea for a while, and now it was the time. After going through the procedure, I learnt from the girl doing it that the nose is actually one of the most painful common locations to pierce. I can't compare it to anything but I have to say that it wasn't a girl's dream, to use a Hungarianism... Still, I'm happy with it. I can still do the bunny/squirrel thing, which makes me even happier. (If you don't know what the bunny/squirrel thing is, ask me to show it.)
Recharged batteries. Oh, yes. My wrinkles are flattened. I feel a decade younger :)
Pictures are coming as soon as Joram sends them to me or something. No ti preoccupare, you'll see them.
Basic Italian vocabulary.
The two most important and most frequently used sentences that I heard:
No ti preoccupare. Don't worry.
Bo. I don't know/Whatever.
A perfect representation of Italian lifestyle.
Bed II. I couldn't help it; that bed was just killing my back and my arms. We figured that it helps to put the mattress on the floor but it was still very uncomfortable. Have you ever slept on a very soft, uncomfortable surface? It is just as bad as curling up in a plane seat or on the train, where you wake up twice as tired as you were when you fell asleep. The solution was easy: a big, big mattress from the housemaster, that filled up the whole room but provided the prefect surface to ... sleep, of course ;)
UC in Bologna. I knew that Simone and her sister were going to come to Bologna to see Frerk. Two days before leaving I also heard that Ifeta and some of her friends have Bologna as their destination too. I think it was the second night when while walking under the porticoes of Bologna, we ran into Ifeta, Andrej and Martin. Although we didn't plan any activities together, we bumped into each other again, when walking in the city. That city seems small. And of course, there were my little muffins, Simone and her sister, who joined Frerk for a day, and then we joined them for a nice evening. Later, at the airport we also saw four frat guys, who spent their time in Rome but flew back from Pisa. Again, the world is tiny.
Spritz. Discovery of the holiday. According to Joram, it should be a standard drink in the Bar, and I fully agree. Take a long drink glass, put a lot of ice in it, pour a shot of Campari over it and fill the glass up with sparkling wine. It's very refreshing! The sparkling wine can be substituted with white wine and soda, so we do have everything in the Bar that is needed for it. I'll talk to Diederik about it. Maybe we could first offer it as a special on a Tuesday night.
Aperitivo. Aperitivo is a meal before dinner, or in the vocabulary of students rather instead of dinner. You go to a bar or a restaurant that offers an aperitivo, you order and pay for a cocktail and you are welcome to eat as much as you can of the little snacks provided on a table. It's a great invention, as if you are a poor student you can get a drink and a meal for 4 euros. You can also choose to go to a classy place and eat fancy stuff made with walnuts, cream cheese, smoked ham, crabs etc. I love the concept.
Nightlife. From Joram's e-mails I always got the impression that plans for the night arrive pretty suddenly and usually through an sms or a call. So true. There were a couple of things though that were fixed on our to do list for the week. First, the jazz night at La Scuderia, the base of university students. Beautiful and relaxing. Then, the Thursday night gay party. We went through great trouble and half the city to get me an "arcigay" card that would enable me to enter. At the end, it was worth it, but I was missing the usual gang that I go to the Pann with every once in a while (the monthly gay party in Utrecht). We saw a beautiful sign above the counter of the bar, stating that after 3 am. they only serve ANAL due to the new regulations. I was puzzled. Then I was enlightened: anal stands for "analcolici". Beautifully put, isn't it? And of course, we couldn't miss eating out at some nice places. I wonder how I'll manage to readapt to UC food.
Piercing. From now on, expect to see me with a nose piercing. I have been playing with the idea for a while, and now it was the time. After going through the procedure, I learnt from the girl doing it that the nose is actually one of the most painful common locations to pierce. I can't compare it to anything but I have to say that it wasn't a girl's dream, to use a Hungarianism... Still, I'm happy with it. I can still do the bunny/squirrel thing, which makes me even happier. (If you don't know what the bunny/squirrel thing is, ask me to show it.)
Recharged batteries. Oh, yes. My wrinkles are flattened. I feel a decade younger :)
Pictures are coming as soon as Joram sends them to me or something. No ti preoccupare, you'll see them.
Monday, 19 March 2007
Bologna I.
This is the ultimate break! I'm here in Bologna, enjoying my boyfriend, the city, great food, and (soon) the nightlife activities of Erasmus/exchange students.
Highlights till now:
The flight. it was once again proven that the world is small. I'm standing in the queue for boarding, when I see Fede behind in the queue. In fact, he saw me first, probably thanks to the ageless, always fashionable ASIC hoodie. A couple of minutes later, we meet yet a third UC student and thus we had enough people to populate a row in the plane. I don't have much of a recollection of the journey, because I slept the whole flight through. I woke up twice when we were already approaching the land, once above beautiful snow-covered mountains and once above the sea close to Pisa. When we landed, the sun was shining, it was warm, and a light breeze was coming from the sea. My first impression: "sh*t, did I choose the wrong country to live in?" And of course, there he was, the only and best, waiting at the gate, after two months without each other. I was so happy!
The bed. Joram is living with a couple of people, creating what would be like a unit for UCers, but in a normal flat. Today was the first day when I met someone because curiously, everybody disappeared for the weekend. Actually, the girl whom I met was Hungarian. Again, the world is small. So, the bed. Yes, it's tiny. I mean really tiny. Imagine a normal UC or AC or any type of bed and take 15 cm from one side. Now, place two people on this bed. Do they fit? No. According to a Hungarian saying a lot of good people fit into a small place, and in fact, we do fit, but it's still very narrow. But I'll just think of these things as luxury problems :) I could sleep on a bed half the size of this, if I could share it with Joram. It's fab!
Street art. Bologna is full of beautiful buildings, and the beautiful buildings are full of street art. There must be someone (or a couple of people) here who is/are extremely good with stencils. I took a couple of pictures today, I'll post them later.
Food. Last night we went out eating pizza. It was amazing! The pizzas were served on the largest plates I've ever seen and they still didn't fit. This of course led some puzzlement on my part as to how to start to consume this beautiful and tasty piece of art, but I managed eventually. I always thought that a pizza is just a pizza, wherever you get it. This was not one of those. You could actually follow it's life from where it started, see how the dough was made and spread and how it was baked in the oven. And it was heavenly, naturally.
Dogs. Bologna is full of dogs. Unfortunately, it's also full of the droppings of the dogs and since there are few soily or grassy parts and all the streets are covered with stone, it's even worse. This did not make a good impression on Joram, and he seems even more convinced that dogs are useless little things. (He's protesting now, saying that "I just don't see the point" but not that they are uceless little things.) I also familiarized myself with the concept of the "punkabestia", an alternative type of person living on the street with one, two or three large dogs. Joram kind of dislikes these dog too. I love dogs... How are we going to have a dog with such an attitude?
I'll be back later during the week with other (short) posts. If I don't answer your e-mails that does not mean that I don't love you, only that I'm too immersed in my break and in pink clouds to take the time and communicate with the outside world. I hope it's understandable.
Highlights till now:
The flight. it was once again proven that the world is small. I'm standing in the queue for boarding, when I see Fede behind in the queue. In fact, he saw me first, probably thanks to the ageless, always fashionable ASIC hoodie. A couple of minutes later, we meet yet a third UC student and thus we had enough people to populate a row in the plane. I don't have much of a recollection of the journey, because I slept the whole flight through. I woke up twice when we were already approaching the land, once above beautiful snow-covered mountains and once above the sea close to Pisa. When we landed, the sun was shining, it was warm, and a light breeze was coming from the sea. My first impression: "sh*t, did I choose the wrong country to live in?" And of course, there he was, the only and best, waiting at the gate, after two months without each other. I was so happy!
The bed. Joram is living with a couple of people, creating what would be like a unit for UCers, but in a normal flat. Today was the first day when I met someone because curiously, everybody disappeared for the weekend. Actually, the girl whom I met was Hungarian. Again, the world is small. So, the bed. Yes, it's tiny. I mean really tiny. Imagine a normal UC or AC or any type of bed and take 15 cm from one side. Now, place two people on this bed. Do they fit? No. According to a Hungarian saying a lot of good people fit into a small place, and in fact, we do fit, but it's still very narrow. But I'll just think of these things as luxury problems :) I could sleep on a bed half the size of this, if I could share it with Joram. It's fab!
Street art. Bologna is full of beautiful buildings, and the beautiful buildings are full of street art. There must be someone (or a couple of people) here who is/are extremely good with stencils. I took a couple of pictures today, I'll post them later.
Food. Last night we went out eating pizza. It was amazing! The pizzas were served on the largest plates I've ever seen and they still didn't fit. This of course led some puzzlement on my part as to how to start to consume this beautiful and tasty piece of art, but I managed eventually. I always thought that a pizza is just a pizza, wherever you get it. This was not one of those. You could actually follow it's life from where it started, see how the dough was made and spread and how it was baked in the oven. And it was heavenly, naturally.
Dogs. Bologna is full of dogs. Unfortunately, it's also full of the droppings of the dogs and since there are few soily or grassy parts and all the streets are covered with stone, it's even worse. This did not make a good impression on Joram, and he seems even more convinced that dogs are useless little things. (He's protesting now, saying that "I just don't see the point" but not that they are uceless little things.) I also familiarized myself with the concept of the "punkabestia", an alternative type of person living on the street with one, two or three large dogs. Joram kind of dislikes these dog too. I love dogs... How are we going to have a dog with such an attitude?
I'll be back later during the week with other (short) posts. If I don't answer your e-mails that does not mean that I don't love you, only that I'm too immersed in my break and in pink clouds to take the time and communicate with the outside world. I hope it's understandable.
Saturday, 17 March 2007
Thursday, 15 March 2007
Another night in the ASIC office
18.55
Today, I'm starting at 19.00. Two exams tomorrow from 8.45 till 13.00. Fun, fun, fun! Again, feel free to support me in whatever way you'd like to, including providing a back massage or getting me chocolate...
22.30
Ingredients:
- cognitive neuroscience book, slides, thought questions
- psychopathology book, slides, reader
- Anne-Sjoerd (random conversations about language, agriculture, suicide, bipolar disorder, depersonalization disorder, vowel formants and split-brain patients)
- energy drink (Anne-Sjoerd's leftover)
- bankcard (to buy chocolate from the vending machine)
- vending machine (to buy chocolate from)
- chocolate (I know it's a sin but I don't care; it's exam period.... 2 pieces actually)
- radiocafé 98.6
- laziness to climb up to my room and pick up the type of tea I like
- decreasing motivation
- increasing frustration
23.35
I can't concentrate any more. My body says I need to sleep. Such a shame. I still have half the material from both of my courses to cover by 9.00. Let's see when I'll manage to wake up to continue...
04.35
Good morning! So, I was sleeping uncomfortably but soundly on one of the couches in the ASIC office, when Diederick and Oscar opened the door, and took over the office from me, preparing a poster for their 300-level statistics course. This was at 2. Then I asked how long it would take. "Oh, we'll be done quickly." I guess you have figured that they are still here. In any case, at least they keep me awake - they are very funny. They accidentally cut out penises of paper. So, yeah, whatever. It took an hour for me to read the Somatization and Dissociative Disorders slides... Even though I drank 3 cups of green tea. I'm going to do so badly tomorrow :) It's so sad that it's actually funny.
Today, I'm starting at 19.00. Two exams tomorrow from 8.45 till 13.00. Fun, fun, fun! Again, feel free to support me in whatever way you'd like to, including providing a back massage or getting me chocolate...
22.30
Ingredients:
- cognitive neuroscience book, slides, thought questions
- psychopathology book, slides, reader
- Anne-Sjoerd (random conversations about language, agriculture, suicide, bipolar disorder, depersonalization disorder, vowel formants and split-brain patients)
- energy drink (Anne-Sjoerd's leftover)
- bankcard (to buy chocolate from the vending machine)
- vending machine (to buy chocolate from)
- chocolate (I know it's a sin but I don't care; it's exam period.... 2 pieces actually)
- radiocafé 98.6
- laziness to climb up to my room and pick up the type of tea I like
- decreasing motivation
- increasing frustration
23.35
I can't concentrate any more. My body says I need to sleep. Such a shame. I still have half the material from both of my courses to cover by 9.00. Let's see when I'll manage to wake up to continue...
04.35
Good morning! So, I was sleeping uncomfortably but soundly on one of the couches in the ASIC office, when Diederick and Oscar opened the door, and took over the office from me, preparing a poster for their 300-level statistics course. This was at 2. Then I asked how long it would take. "Oh, we'll be done quickly." I guess you have figured that they are still here. In any case, at least they keep me awake - they are very funny. They accidentally cut out penises of paper. So, yeah, whatever. It took an hour for me to read the Somatization and Dissociative Disorders slides... Even though I drank 3 cups of green tea. I'm going to do so badly tomorrow :) It's so sad that it's actually funny.
A night in the ASIC office
20.00
I took over the office for tonight. In AC, the YB room was my little cave when I needed a place to study or reflect, now this is becoming our beutiful office. Music, printer, 2 computers, big space, a kettle, tea, a kiwi left on the table - what else could I wish for? My program for tonight is diappointingly boring though: studying for my Speech Production and Perception and my Cognitive Neuroscience exam. I might be writing another little desperate note if I begin to feel very frustrated about acting like a complete nerd. If you feel like coming by, you're welcome to distract me.
22.00
These are the images I'm going to have nightmares about:
I took over the office for tonight. In AC, the YB room was my little cave when I needed a place to study or reflect, now this is becoming our beutiful office. Music, printer, 2 computers, big space, a kettle, tea, a kiwi left on the table - what else could I wish for? My program for tonight is diappointingly boring though: studying for my Speech Production and Perception and my Cognitive Neuroscience exam. I might be writing another little desperate note if I begin to feel very frustrated about acting like a complete nerd. If you feel like coming by, you're welcome to distract me.
22.00
These are the images I'm going to have nightmares about:
23.00
Why is my mind numbing so fast? Having been staring at the book, the slides and the spectrograms for three hours, I realized that although the English aspirate the voiceless stops (p,t,k) and aspiration is kind of the inverse of phonation, I can actually aspirate my voiced stops too. Or so say the spectrograms of my utterances. Isn't this fab??? It's interesting because the Spanish usually phonate both the voiced and the voiceless stops. Now, I feel like testing several Hungarian vs. Spanish speakers...
Isn't talking about speech production just the best way to discourage people from reading my blog?
I just got a phone call from Joram :) Isn't he just fab?
00.30
I'm impressed. I went through the "Emotions" chapter in my cog sci book in one and a half hours. I love writers who have a lot of experience with scientific papers, they put the point across in the first or second sentence of the paragraph and if you know what it means you can basically skip the rest.
Long live tea, the ASIC kettle, the office, the Romeo and Juliet soundtrack, radiocafe 98.6 and Slam!FM.
Furthermore, I have to say that Frans Verstraten (cog sci prof, big-big name) was right. He asked the class whether we found out about how it is best to learn for exams. His contribution was that we should listen to our body. (He does listen to his body, I think the only reason why he gives us a break in class is to smoke a cigarette, but anyway...) Everybody has a rythm that is pretty constant across days. If you pick the right time of the day, you'll absorb information like a sponge and if for example I would try to study at 4 in the afternoon, I could spend half a day figuring out a chapter in the book. Nothing big and cognitive neurosciency in this, but it works.
And of course, stress is not always bad either. It has been shown that when there is an arousal response, the amygdala modulates hippocampal processing in a way that it would enhance the retention of declarative memory (Gazzaniga, 2000). So, long live exam stress too!
01.45
I think this was enough for today. I'll continue tomorrow. All I need now is my soft bed in my tower room. Szép álmokat, repdeső bogarakat!
Tuesday, 13 March 2007
Focus, girl.
I'm so tempted to write. Arrrgh. But I need to study. I could write about so many things... dog/cat-sitting during the weekend, pigeon sex, the magic spell of sunshine on the UC population, the frustrations of speech synthesis, the UCSA-ASIC task meeting, going through the couple of hundreds pages of the psych reader in 2 hours, my excitement about the break, the sexual references at the ASIC meeting yesterday, meeting the international research group (hopefully my future bosses) tonight and so on. But not now. Focus, girl. Study.
Sunday, 11 March 2007
Yet another death
Today I got the third e-mail within half a year informing me about the death of a classmate. The first one was Hui, a Chinese second year who lived in my house in AC. I didn't know him very well, but he was the one who taught me how to eat noodles with chopsticks on a quiet evening. He died in a car accident, in New York, I think. He was travelling with 3 or 4 other UWCers. Only one survived. Next was Austin, an American co-year of mine in AC. He committed suicide just three weeks after Hui had died. I didn't know him well either, but it was a shock for everyone to hear what happened. Suddenly, everybody realized that somebody is gone from our year. And this time, it was a former classmate from high school in Hungary. He died in a heart attack. He has been sick since the summer, but they said he would be fine, and he was probably only 22... May they rest in peace.
Show the people you love that you love them. You never know till when you have the opportunity to do so.
Show the people you love that you love them. You never know till when you have the opportunity to do so.
Friday, 9 March 2007
Good old Budapest
I am back.
It was nice to be at home again. Sometimes I miss the big-city-feeling that Budapest radiates. By now, I often feel like a tourist in my own hometown, which is a bit disappointing though. "Oh, look, there's an H&M here!" "Yeah, it has been there for a year..." If you were ever far from your home for a while, you'll understand what I mean. There were a couple of things that struck me this time...
First, the revelation that all the people there speak this weird language called Hungarian and that I'm getting worse and worse at it. I'm more or less fine as long as I don't have to talk about my studies. Then I wonder what is "major" and "minor" and "caudate nucleus" and "formant" and so on in Hungarian and I end up apologizing for my segmented speech or try to diverge from the topic. It feels hopeless to talk about anything vaguely related to academics with anyone except Irma. She's majoring in English and also suffers from extensive code switching (the let's-mix-English-words-into-everything disease). We just laugh at each other when saying "and at one point..." and such, structures that are non-existent in Hungarian.
Second, that my country does not seem to be in good shape. They are awaiting new riots on the 15th of March, the anniversary of the start of the 1848 revolution. When I was at home last autumn, I was watching the riots live on TV. It was damn scary. At that moment I didn't understand what they expected. How can you expect people to negotiate with you and take you seriously if all you can do is set the building of the national TV on fire, burn cars and make a mess throughout the whole city? But three days ago I went to see my dentist who is working close to a small hospital that specializes in taking care of babies born too early. They also have an incubator by the door, which can save the lives of non-wanted babies. They are planning to shut the place down. When I was walking by at 7 in the evening, there were about 50 people quietly protesting in front of the hospital. They were all holding candles. The nurses were leaning out the windows, looking at the small crowd. And then the question came again: who is going to take these people seriously? You see 50 adults and a couple of children, standing in front a hospital with candles in the dark, thanking the staff for saving their childern and asking for keeping the place open. I bet no one cares.
Third, that my family is growing old. One of my grandmothers and my grandfather are 80. My grandmother is in her seventies. My mother is retiring next year and is talking about grandchildren. I often start to feel guilty for not being there, not seeing my family more, not taking care of them. I don't know how much time my grandparents have left with us, but it scares me that they might be gone soon. They were the ones raising me from the age of 7 till 10, the period before which my parents got divorced and when I thought that the reason why I ended up there was that no one else wanted me. But they wanted me so much... I remember telling them that I want to be their child, crying because my mother wanted to take me away from them.
Finally, my mother. I think she also feels guilty that she's not taking care of me during the year, so she is trying to make up for it when I'm returning for a couple of days. I think she would really need some support at home... She doesn't look very happy, although things look better than in the summer.
So far, this doesn't sound like a very happy stay. Don't let me make you believe that I didn't have a nice time. I saw my dentist once instead of the two planned visits and he fixed my tooth that received the root canal treatment last time. I can't say that this was the highlight of the two days but it feels good now that it's done. I saw Irma and Sali, and it's great that we can still continue everything from where we stopped last time. Next time we should definitely go out dancing. Next time I should also warn them that I'm going so that they can anticipate that I'm showing up at their place :) I still slept at Irma's place once, and saw Sali constructing a small power station powered by water, or at least trying to start contructing it. (Thanks for the chocolate; it's heavenly.)
It was nice to be at home again. Sometimes I miss the big-city-feeling that Budapest radiates. By now, I often feel like a tourist in my own hometown, which is a bit disappointing though. "Oh, look, there's an H&M here!" "Yeah, it has been there for a year..." If you were ever far from your home for a while, you'll understand what I mean. There were a couple of things that struck me this time...
First, the revelation that all the people there speak this weird language called Hungarian and that I'm getting worse and worse at it. I'm more or less fine as long as I don't have to talk about my studies. Then I wonder what is "major" and "minor" and "caudate nucleus" and "formant" and so on in Hungarian and I end up apologizing for my segmented speech or try to diverge from the topic. It feels hopeless to talk about anything vaguely related to academics with anyone except Irma. She's majoring in English and also suffers from extensive code switching (the let's-mix-English-words-into-everything disease). We just laugh at each other when saying "and at one point..." and such, structures that are non-existent in Hungarian.
Second, that my country does not seem to be in good shape. They are awaiting new riots on the 15th of March, the anniversary of the start of the 1848 revolution. When I was at home last autumn, I was watching the riots live on TV. It was damn scary. At that moment I didn't understand what they expected. How can you expect people to negotiate with you and take you seriously if all you can do is set the building of the national TV on fire, burn cars and make a mess throughout the whole city? But three days ago I went to see my dentist who is working close to a small hospital that specializes in taking care of babies born too early. They also have an incubator by the door, which can save the lives of non-wanted babies. They are planning to shut the place down. When I was walking by at 7 in the evening, there were about 50 people quietly protesting in front of the hospital. They were all holding candles. The nurses were leaning out the windows, looking at the small crowd. And then the question came again: who is going to take these people seriously? You see 50 adults and a couple of children, standing in front a hospital with candles in the dark, thanking the staff for saving their childern and asking for keeping the place open. I bet no one cares.
Third, that my family is growing old. One of my grandmothers and my grandfather are 80. My grandmother is in her seventies. My mother is retiring next year and is talking about grandchildren. I often start to feel guilty for not being there, not seeing my family more, not taking care of them. I don't know how much time my grandparents have left with us, but it scares me that they might be gone soon. They were the ones raising me from the age of 7 till 10, the period before which my parents got divorced and when I thought that the reason why I ended up there was that no one else wanted me. But they wanted me so much... I remember telling them that I want to be their child, crying because my mother wanted to take me away from them.
Finally, my mother. I think she also feels guilty that she's not taking care of me during the year, so she is trying to make up for it when I'm returning for a couple of days. I think she would really need some support at home... She doesn't look very happy, although things look better than in the summer.
So far, this doesn't sound like a very happy stay. Don't let me make you believe that I didn't have a nice time. I saw my dentist once instead of the two planned visits and he fixed my tooth that received the root canal treatment last time. I can't say that this was the highlight of the two days but it feels good now that it's done. I saw Irma and Sali, and it's great that we can still continue everything from where we stopped last time. Next time we should definitely go out dancing. Next time I should also warn them that I'm going so that they can anticipate that I'm showing up at their place :) I still slept at Irma's place once, and saw Sali constructing a small power station powered by water, or at least trying to start contructing it. (Thanks for the chocolate; it's heavenly.)
Monday, 5 March 2007
Shiny and new
Why does an anniversary that is supposed to remind you of something beautiful only make you cry?
You take a memory, you blow the dust off, take a clean cloth, make it shiny and new. You see the big room with the all the windows, it smells of spring, you have a converter in your hands, you are late, you feel happy. Then you realize that whenever you make something shiny and new, something that was hard to lose, it is too blinding and painful to look at it. The feeling does not let you go till it made you suffocate and suffer. You calm down, put the thing back on the shelf and decide to leave it alone till enough dust is on top so that it doesn't hurt to look at it from a distance.
You take a memory, you blow the dust off, take a clean cloth, make it shiny and new. You see the big room with the all the windows, it smells of spring, you have a converter in your hands, you are late, you feel happy. Then you realize that whenever you make something shiny and new, something that was hard to lose, it is too blinding and painful to look at it. The feeling does not let you go till it made you suffocate and suffer. You calm down, put the thing back on the shelf and decide to leave it alone till enough dust is on top so that it doesn't hurt to look at it from a distance.
Out of office
I'm leaving for home (I mean real home... Budapest, Hungary) tomorrow morning and I'll be back on campus early in the afternoon on Thursday. I wonder whether it is worth flying there and back within two days, but at least I'll see my family, my dentist and hopefully some of my friends (hm, the few that remained after 4 years)...
Sunday, 4 March 2007
Guest, nostalgia, AC
I had a guest for two days. She (Irina) is now a German second year in AC, applying to UC. She found me on Facebook (long live the wonders of Internet!) and asked whether she could stay at my place for a bit to check out campus. Although I didn't know her, my door is always open for ACers, so I said yes. I think we both enjoyed the two days together. So, here is the recipe for how to host someone from your UWC on campus.
1. It is useful if you live in a tower room, because then the mattress that you borrow from a friend of yours fills the whole floor and therefore creates a cosy feeling of your old UWC room.
2. Give detailed descriptions of how to get to campus and then how to find the building you will be in and make your guest feel like a dummy. See the picture (thanks to maps.google.com).
3. Make your guest take a powernap before the start of the night. Take him/her to the Bar and explain your hairstyle-social status-Equites/Allure (fraternity/sorority) membership theories. Impress her with the price of a Martini or impress him with the price of a beer.
4. Introduce your guest to good friends smoking weed and/or smoking sheesha. It's even better if these people are also ex-UWCers. Then you can get nostalgic together.
5. Make your guest attend some of your classes, preferably 300 levels, so that (s)he could not understand much of what is being talked about.
6. Talk till late at night. Share rumours about current and former students and teachers of your UWC.
7. Play evergreen UWC songs in the morning.
8. Make your guest attend an ASIC-tutorial meeting in the form of 2 ASIC members, the senior tutor and your tutor cooking together in your unit, drinking wine, discussing a lot of issues about social life on campus, academics and the (in)competence* of the leadership. If these discussions do not scare your guest away, then nothing will.
*The value judgement by no means represents the opinion of ASIC or the tutorial board, but is solely my stand on the topic.
9. Do a photo session and put the "best" pictures on Facebook. What does (s)he offer for you to take them off?
10. Enjoy and don't take me seriously. :)
All in all, it was great to have Irina over. It just got me very nostalgic at one point. We were showing pictures from our years to each other and I wished I had my laptop with me, but that's now in Bologna. We were talking about Yearbooks and Year Videos, showerings, last day of codes, loves and disappointments, what to drink during break, Platform 6, houseparents and so many other AC-related things... After so many years, people still eat fish and chips on Fridays and pizza on Wednesdays. I think that my 6th year said that this was going to be the case, which means that the menu has hardly changed in the pat 8 years. I learnt that a huge part of the sea wall fell, that there is a complete ban on sheesha and you can get suspended for only having one in your possession, that there is a ban on alcohol in the houses, that Lucy is a bad service head and that the new Spanish teacher replacing Nelson sucks. Times change. Malcolm, the principal is leaving and maybe the next principal will reinstitute the morning swims from the 1960s or will maybe say to hell with the new rules.
1. It is useful if you live in a tower room, because then the mattress that you borrow from a friend of yours fills the whole floor and therefore creates a cosy feeling of your old UWC room.
2. Give detailed descriptions of how to get to campus and then how to find the building you will be in and make your guest feel like a dummy. See the picture (thanks to maps.google.com).
3. Make your guest take a powernap before the start of the night. Take him/her to the Bar and explain your hairstyle-social status-Equites/Allure (fraternity/sorority) membership theories. Impress her with the price of a Martini or impress him with the price of a beer.
4. Introduce your guest to good friends smoking weed and/or smoking sheesha. It's even better if these people are also ex-UWCers. Then you can get nostalgic together.
5. Make your guest attend some of your classes, preferably 300 levels, so that (s)he could not understand much of what is being talked about.
6. Talk till late at night. Share rumours about current and former students and teachers of your UWC.
7. Play evergreen UWC songs in the morning.
8. Make your guest attend an ASIC-tutorial meeting in the form of 2 ASIC members, the senior tutor and your tutor cooking together in your unit, drinking wine, discussing a lot of issues about social life on campus, academics and the (in)competence* of the leadership. If these discussions do not scare your guest away, then nothing will.
*The value judgement by no means represents the opinion of ASIC or the tutorial board, but is solely my stand on the topic.
9. Do a photo session and put the "best" pictures on Facebook. What does (s)he offer for you to take them off?
10. Enjoy and don't take me seriously. :)
All in all, it was great to have Irina over. It just got me very nostalgic at one point. We were showing pictures from our years to each other and I wished I had my laptop with me, but that's now in Bologna. We were talking about Yearbooks and Year Videos, showerings, last day of codes, loves and disappointments, what to drink during break, Platform 6, houseparents and so many other AC-related things... After so many years, people still eat fish and chips on Fridays and pizza on Wednesdays. I think that my 6th year said that this was going to be the case, which means that the menu has hardly changed in the pat 8 years. I learnt that a huge part of the sea wall fell, that there is a complete ban on sheesha and you can get suspended for only having one in your possession, that there is a ban on alcohol in the houses, that Lucy is a bad service head and that the new Spanish teacher replacing Nelson sucks. Times change. Malcolm, the principal is leaving and maybe the next principal will reinstitute the morning swims from the 1960s or will maybe say to hell with the new rules.
Thursday, 1 March 2007
An envelope at the reception desk
Geachte mevrouw Bene,
Hierbij doe ik u het origineel van mijn beschikking van heden toekomen waarbij uw aanvraag tot afgifte van een document als bedoeld in artikel 9, eertse lid, van de Vreemdelingenwet, waaruit het rechtmatig verblijf als gemeenschapsonderdaan blijkt, is ingewilligd.
Alvorens echter kan worden overgegaan tot de afgifte van uw verblijfsdocument dient u bijgaande originele fotokaart te voorzien van een goedgelijkende kleuren pasfoto van u.
...
I'll get a residence permit! Wow :)
Hierbij doe ik u het origineel van mijn beschikking van heden toekomen waarbij uw aanvraag tot afgifte van een document als bedoeld in artikel 9, eertse lid, van de Vreemdelingenwet, waaruit het rechtmatig verblijf als gemeenschapsonderdaan blijkt, is ingewilligd.
Alvorens echter kan worden overgegaan tot de afgifte van uw verblijfsdocument dient u bijgaande originele fotokaart te voorzien van een goedgelijkende kleuren pasfoto van u.
...
I'll get a residence permit! Wow :)
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