Resolutions?

I don't do the resolution thing, but if I did, these would be the ones for next year:

1. Spend more time with friends who are not friends of my boyfriend, i.e. Irma, Sali and UWC friends. The only people I'm seeing nowadays are friends of ours, and they are wonderful, really, but I miss my own friends.
2. Find a job that allows me to do things that I like, such as dancing, being social, going out. No more 12 hours. That's just insane.
3. Get a drivers' licence. I mean to learn to drive, not to buy one on the market. Irma said she'll return hers once I'll get mine :)
4. Keep my weight steady.
5. Drink less, dance more.
6. Cook more often. This should be solved once I'll have a job that will allow me to get home by dinnertime. Eat less fast/unhealthy food.

Cheers!

A hard decision

You all know how obsessed I can get with a project. I start something and if I feel it is worth it, I bring it through no matter what. UC was a perfect example for how I could get myself overloaded with things to do and things to be responsible for. I'm great at burying myself under work to do. And the issue now is that the work I do takes up all my time. Even at UC I had time to go to the bar and party with the guys and every week I went to town to salsa. So, even with the hard workload - for which there is no one else to blame but me - I enjoyed the time that I could spend with my friends. I wish I had time now to spend with my friends. I was at Kori's (one of my salsa friends) birthday party - she turned 30 last week - and I had to leave early. Besides the argument that I had with Kaszi about leaving or not leaving it was also an internal conflict that I had to resolve. I hated to say that I needed to leave (I hated it even more that Kaszi was completely ununderstanding) but I had to leave because there is no way you can work properly after 5 hours of sleep. And it's easy for someone to say "I'm working too" if that person gets paid no matter how well s/he does during the day but I literally earn 0 Ft if I don't do my job well.

All in all, I want my life back. The people around me are way more important to me than this job. I do enjoy running around in the city all day but I want time to cook dinner once in a while, to dance till late, to study for my exams and to continue taking driving lessons. So, I'll quit. There are many roads to success and I'll just choose another one.

But hey, they were good times... a lot of lovely, insane people... like these:




I think I forgot to say that I had a haircut and I have a fringe :)

Christmas time

It's Christmas again and it's a time of the year I am usually not too fond of. But somehow the fact that I was working this week and that I had hardly any time to prepare for Christmas makes me a bit more relaxed about it.

I'm not too much in a Christmas mood. I'll soon be off to my boyfriend's place and I think the house will already be glowing in Christmas lights. Maybe that will do it. I wonder if he already has a Christmas tree. I think it will be the first Christmas tree ever that I'll decorate with a boyfriend :) Tomorrow I'll celebrate with my mother's family and in two days I'll be with my grandparents and my father's family. I just realized this afternoon that I forgot to buy something for one person, my little brother. I wonder when I'll have time to get something for him... Is anything open on the 25th?

I got creative again and even though I didn't have too much time, I did make a couple of things for some people. For example, for Irma, Kaszi, my aunt and my grandparents. I bought a necklace for my sister but it fit me so well that I decided to keep it :) She'll get another one. For the rest, my mother was very helpful with some presents because she actually bought paintbrushes for herself and a book for Béla bácsi and I'll only have to give her the money it cost.

I hope tomorrow is going to be fine and that we can spare ourselves the usual little fights we have in our family during Christmas... I'm not in a mood for that.

Relationship issues?

A day off

So, I had a day off from work today. What do normal people do when they have a day off? They sleep in, stay in bed till noon, have a long lunch, do something nice, i.e. something nice that they don't have to do but they choose to do. What do I do? I set my alarm clock to 9 a.m., which in a way IS sleeping in because every day I get up at 6.20, but it's not really sleeping in in the traditional sense. I hug my baby for a couple of minutes and then collect enough willpower to get out of bed - the earlier the easier. Or, actually, we could depict the will to get up as a function of time and if it's too early after the alarm, I can't get up, and if it's too late, I fall asleep again, so I have to catch the right moment to have an ideal amount of energy to get out of bed. Shower, brushing my teeth. And then the day really starts.

I have to admit I resent the fact that I'm the one who had to organize the Christmas party for EVIME. It was obvious from the beginning that I couldn't be there because I wasn't going to be in Hungary that day (tomorrow). That's one thing. The other thing is that I'm probably the only one who has working days that last 12 hours. It's not too easy to do shopping for a Christmas party after 8 p.m. when the only thing I can usually do after such a day it to get home and go to bed. The party is tomorrow and last weekend I was in Veszprém, so I had two free days in the past two weeks: last Sunday and today. So, I sacrificed these two days on the altar of community work and did some shopping and made presents. People who know me know that I'm into hand made presents even if I'm not too close to the person getting it, so I got creative again and made some consumable goodies... including bottles of Aranchello. You can find the recipe on the web. I can't say it's not nice to do these kind of things, but I don't appreciate them too much if I have to do them.

I made T-shirts for the Board of last year and I very much hope they will like the design. I wanted to make something personal, so I got pictures of the members of the Board and after a couple of hours of GIMPing, I ended up with this:

I wonder what I forgot... They'll find it out tomorrow.

I'll be off now.

THE update

Hahahaha, so an update? That's going to be quite easy now. I'm working 12 hours per day for a marketing company, which takes up most of my time and I have pretty much no life besides that. I thought I should try it out and it seems that I'm stuck there. Not in a bad sense though. My colleagues are great, it's a group of about 20 people, all of us between the age of 21 and 27. The job is challenging and exciting, not at all a normal office job. In fact, it has hardly anything to do with an office and I don't have to use a computer at all. I talk and negotiate with people. If I feel like making fun of them, I can do that too. There are weeks when it's going very well and although last week this wasn't the case, I'll get my act together for next week. There are quite a couple of reasons why it should be going well. First of all, because our pay is completely dependent on how well we do. There's no minimum and no maximum. Then, because I need to be promoted to be a "leader". That's a very important step to be able to start building a team for later. (I'm not going to explain how the company works for now, but prospects are good that you can achieve something big here.) I like the kind of thinking that the company's policies are based on. For examply, there's no seniority, which means that if I'm better than people who have been here for months now, I can achieve my goal earlier. And my goal? Let's keep it a secret for now. It's written in my notebook. The most important thing is that I see a big opportunity in what we are doing.

Apart from work, I'm still going to Veszprém every month for a weekend. This month it was this weekend. I am pleasantly surprised by the lecturers and I have to say they know what they talk about. The exam period is going to start soon and now I'll be an average Hungarian university student, meaning that I won't have a proper Christmas because in Hungary the exam period starts mid-December and ends mid-February. I have 8 exams/papers to prepare for while I'm working my ass off. It's going to be interesting. Especially for economic law and macroeconomics. Well, I guess the fact that I managed to survive 6 exam periods till now should mean that this one is not going to kill me either.

Love? My guy is still in the picture :) Initially he hated my job and complained a lot and I'm not sure whether he likes it more now but he started to be more supportive. I think he realized that I take it seriously now and he also likes the idea that I can build a career from this. There was a day when I almost quit the job and I talked to my trainer about it. When I called Kaszi, he was almost outraged that I was even thinking about that and he said something that I just can't forget. He said that if they (2 people in the company) could do it (be assistant managers) within a year, I could do it within half a year. Regardless the fact that I don't think I can do it within half a year, it's good to know that someone believes in me. Oh, btw, poor thing had an operation above his two front teeth and he looked a bit like a turtle for 2 days. (Interesting that he's my third boyfriend who lost his two front teeth in an accident. I wonder what the percentage of such people is in society.) Anyway, he's better now and yesterday he was playing at the Cinetrip party at the Rudas bath again. He always DJs in the turkish bath part of the Rudas. Such a great night! I went with a friend of ours and his new girlfriend. She's absolutely cool and it was the first time I met her. We left immediately after Kaszi stopped playing because we were way too tired to stay. I even fell asleep in the sauna and woke up to a Spanish guy asking "Are you still alive?" :) There is one thing you should always do after a night of drinking and partying: drink a lot of water and eat something. So, at 3 a.m. we went to a Turkish fast restaurant and has Turkish pizzas. Ah, good old UC days... Ah, good new Budapest days :)

No comment

Random picture of the day: my dog sleeping on the floor :)

Days and nights

Days:

Mostly spent by submitting my CV and motivation letter to job postings and by doing the robot-work for BME. Occasionally cycling in the city with Kaszi or hiking in one of our not-so-big mountains. Going to job interviews... But now it seems it will all slightly change. I got a job offer! This afternoon I had my last interview at a pharmaceutical company and it went really well. I was prepared, I was confident, I made them smile. The interviewer (there was another listener too) closed the meeting by welcoming me to the company. They don't exactly know when I will start because they had to rewrite the proposal for my salary (darn economic crisis), but once that will be accepted, we can sign the documents.

So, I'll be a proper working woman. I'm looking forward to it :)

Nights:

The most exciting part of a day. I've been dancing sooo much! It seems to me that the Autumn/Winter salsa scene is a bit worse than the Summer one, but oh well. Still good enough. The thing is that during the Summer there are only a few places to go to, and those are open air places and can house a lot of dancers. Thus, everybody is there. It all changes during the Fall. The dancefloors are inside and are smaller, and there are so many salsa places operating simultaneously that it's quite hard to run into friends unless you arrange it in advance. I've only been to one party that was not a salsa party recently, but only salseros and salseras came with us... It was the birthday of a salsa teacher and about 30 of us went to a retro party. It seems that a different music style doesn't bother salsa people too much - we still had ruedas in the middle of the dancefloor :) (A rueda is the choreographed dance of multiple couples. The couples stand in a circle and follow the instructions shouted out by the leader. So, once you hear the name of a salsa step - montana, dedo, besito, sombrero etc. - you do it. Usually the name is accompanied by a specific hand sign to ease understanding in noise. Once the leader says dáme una, the boys move counterclockwise to the next girl - dáme dos would be skipping one girl - or boys move clockwise if the leader shouts arriba. It's a lot of fun but it takes a bit of time to remember which name corresponds to which steps.)

The well-deserved update

Soo... Where to start? I still don't have a job. I'm still trying to find one. I think that after the initial disappointment and the realization that it is hard to find a job, I am much more patient now. I went to a job fair last Thursday and gave my CV to a couple of agencies and as a result, I got a phone call this morning from one of them; I had an interview at their office this afternoon.

I started uni in Veszprém. It's distance learning and I have to go there for a weekend every month. The city must be nice but I didn't see too much of it because it was dark when I arrived and I had classes from 7 am till 7 pm. With only one proper break. Very tiring. We're having some classes in Economics (huge book, possibly the biggest textbook I've ever seen...), Law, Statistics, HR Softwares, Psyhology and other stuff related to HR. I'm going to have my first oral exams at a uni at the end of the semester, yay :) UC was not keen on these, but in Hungary it's very common, so it would be very weird if I didn't have any orals during my whole uni career.

Qué más? I passed my theory exam for my driver's licence yesterday! I was worried that I wouldn't make it there (my lacking orientation skills did not help me too much and I've never been in that part of the city - it's a big city, you see...) and I actually had to run to arrive on time. I ran about a km. A great way to exercise, but not in high-heels... Anyway, I only made one mistake and so I passed with a very good score. I think it was 20 of us taking the exam at the same time and the supervisor said that only 4 of us were "new", i.e. the rest have failed once or twice. I'm happy I passed; now I can get started with proper driving lessons.

And most importantly, I have a new boyfriend. I wonder whether you could find two people as different as we are. Different level of education, different political orientation, different generation, different social background, different clothing style, drives a big car, has a big house, see, a bit of a different world. I like to joke with the fact that the only similarities are that we both cut out the labels from the back of our T-shirts and that we both dance salsa. I guess it's quite obvious that I met him at a salsa party in the Puerto, since my only social life has been limited to salsa for a while. He started hitting on me and I think it was that I wasn't interested in him initially that made him carry on. This went on for two weeks or so and I didn't want to meet him outside the salsa parties. Then I gave in and when we finally met up, we got on with each other surprisingly well. I said he shouldn't try; nothing was going to happen between us. He said he was persistent. I said I was too. He said he was more persistent. He was right :) Actually, he didn't even have to be that persistent... And it feels really good.

Bad girls don't write

I've been a bad bad girl, I know... I haven't written anything in ages. There's no point in making up for it; there's too much to write. But hey, there's big news:

Ladies and gentlemen, yesterday, I had my first orgasm in 7 years that was entirely given by a man, without any help from me! (Yes, that's since I was 16...) Wow. Honestly, I hardly thought it will ever happen again. So great :)

Haha, I realize this might not have been the post you were waiting for after such long silence - no news about uni, jobs, new friends etc. - but fear not, I'll write soon!

Opportunities

I think that one of the difficulties with UC is that it makes you think that you are good at research/studying - and you may well be - and so it makes you think that academics is the path to follow. It doesn't really encourage you to look for a career in something "normal". That is not to say that academics are not normal, but there is so much more in the world. Maybe it was only my curriculum that had such focus or maybe it was only me assuming that if I'm good at something I should follow that path. Have I been lazy, not thinking enough about other options?

Now a conversation comes to mind that I had with Sali quite a while ago. Probably during the winter holidays. We were talking about my plans and I was telling him that I wanted to go to grad school and do research. And there's a sentence he said that kept on lingering in my head since then: "You are smart, you could do so many things..." By "so many things" he meant many things other than research.

For a while now I've been trying to figure out what those "so many things" were. Of course, I couldn't be a doctor. Or a lawyer. But there are still other things. Have you ever looked at how the jobs on online job boards are organized in groups? You would find groups for jobs in the areas of engineering, assistance, marketing etc. And, most importantly for me, human resources management. HR, baby.

I'm not a pro on HR, but I've had some experience with it. I know how important the management of workforce is. I know what it means to be called at 1 am. asking for a replacement because someone hasn't showed up to his shift (pretty workplace dependent, I admit, but it does require dedication). I know that people are difficult and that their problems have to be sorted out (after all they are not robots) - ideally in a way that it pleases everyone. I've read some literature too.

It is mindnumbing to submit applications. The steps are as follows:
1. browse job boards for hours and find ads you find interesting
2.a. apply via e-mail
2.b. apply online (jump to step #6)
3. write a cover letter (Here you may use parts of previous cover letters but eventually, by the time you adjusted it to suit the needs of the ad, it's hardly recognizable.)
4. ATTACH the cover letter and the CV (if you're unlucky, you'll have to write an English cover letter too, not a huge hassle, but time nevertheless)
5. send the e-mail
6. click on the link that allows you to apply online, usually takes you to the HR site of the company
7. spend 1.5 hours filling out details that are in your CV anyway (if you are unlucky, the system will log you off once it thinks that you have spent too much time on the application, and if you're pop-up blocker is working properly you won't even get notified - had that with L'Oréal)
8. rename and resize your CV and cover letters to match the acceptable formats stated by the website
9. attach CV, cover letter (possibly in 2 languages), picture (resize that too)
10. send the application
11. confirm that it was really you who applied via a link sent to your e-mail address.

Sometimes you just submit application quite brainlessly and sometimes you realize that this could be the place for you. One of these latter moments came about a week ago. The ad was just perfect. A big multinational company, an HR training program, long, half a year abroad, you get paid all the way and if everything goes well, you get offered a job at the end of the program. I spent at least 3 hours on the application. I wished they would call back. But they usually don't; that's how it usually goes.

Two days later I'm on my way to an interview when I get a call from the company. They want to talk to me. "Could you call later?" So, we agreed on a more appropriate time and they called again. "Do I have 15 minutes?" Sure. Phone interview in English, actually mostly about professional HR issues, I have to say a very smart move from their part, not actually allowing the applicant any time to prepare. 3 more steps in the selection, she says. The next one is a maths and reading comprehension test.

Maths and reading comprehension under time pressure? Sounded a bit like the GRE for a minute. And it was actually very similar :) Only that maths was mostly data interpretation and all kinds of % calculations and reading comprehension was logic. Long live UC's Argumentation Analysis course and GRE maths preparation!

I passed, by the way, with pretty good scores. 2 more selection rounds to go.

Today, when I was there for the test, the whole place seemed so friendly. It reminded me of another conversation, this time with Jean, the grad student from Brown that I had been talking to at the time of my phone interviews. She said something on the lines of that I'll recognize the right place, when my aims and interests and their profile will coincide and then it will work out. This really seems like the right place to me.

59.2

No, I'm not suddenly 59.2 years old. But I weigh 59.2 kg, which is absolutely fantastic! I know it's very girly to keep track of your weight but once you've been fat, you'd rather not go there anymore. Once you've been too skinny to do any type of exercise because you feel you could faint any minute, you'd rather not go there either. I had been both - skinny a long time ago and fat not so long ago - and one of the goals I wanted to reach this year was a healthy, nice 60 kg. That's approximately how much I weighed when I left for UC. So, every one or two weeks I stand on a scale and check how I'm doing. And here I am :) I started from 73.3 kg February 2007. One and a half years, 14 kg minus, not very fast, but it will hopefully stay off.

Now I'm off to the city to get a membership at the National Library of Foreign Languages, then I'll check whether I can still find a pair of good summer sandals/flipflops to buy and see with what conditions I could start to learn driving at the school at the Blaha Lujza Square. I should get some food from TESCO too.

I feel good today.

Push the button, a.k.a. the original "23" post

"A really good way to avoid having to write about how you feel and what you're going through is to write about what you're doing. Once in a while there must be something happening and providing a good enough reason to write a post. And once in a while there are occasions when you need to reflect on your life. Well, you don't need to. But it's smart to do that sometimes. New Year's Eve and birthdays are pretty great candidates for such reflection. And since it's not New Year's Eve yet, it must be my birthday. Yes, little Dia was born exactly 23 years ago on 31 August at 7.30 pm in Budapest with the help of a C-section. I didn't want to turn around. Pretty good intuitions for a 0-year-old... I was a smart girl.

My mother made me a cake. It was the first time in 5 years that I could spend my birthday in my home country. I can't recall her ever having made a cake for me. Maybe she has... I don't know. So, there were no candles on top, but I figured I deserved a wish, so I lit a candle next to the cake. And there was the big question: what to wish for? It's not that it would come true, just for the sake of fun. What do you want most when you get the chance to wish for anything?

My first thought was love. And the second was that I was insane. And I still maintain that diagnosis. F**kin' love? Love is self-deception. You're never going to find anyone who loves you (no, not only me, but also you) and only you. You're never going to find someone who will tell you the truth. You're never going to find someone who will not leave you. Because that's just how it goes. And you think that your partner is just that? Good for you. But you're going to fall so hard. Especially if you think that everything is just fine. It's all good, you feel loved, he tells you he loves you, you have plans, he doesn't act any different. And it's rotten.

So, here I am, 23, already cynical about the issue. Have you ever had one of those moments during your adolescence when you were hurt and said with total conviction "I'm never going to fall in love again!" It's not that moment now. The thing is... I'm not stupid. Of course I'll fall in love. No way to help that. It's just that I'm scared to death of it. I've been systematically pushing most people away who were even trying to get close. Let's leave the details and the methods aside.

My favorite part is when someone says "you're only 22 (23 by now), you're too young to have been heartbroken". Yes, and you are way too ignorant to even open your mouth, so please shut up. How the hell do you think you have the faintest idea of how I felt? Do you know anything about my history? Can you take my brain for a minute and experience what I experience for yourself? Then??

Well, well, I'm getting carried away...

So, love was off the list in a split second. It was one of those intuitive "oh, no, what am I thinking?" rejections. Then came the idea of a job. I have been trying to find a job for quite a couple of weeks now. According to a friend, I can start being disappointed at 6 months into the process of looking for a job. It takes a long time to find one. But then, being the practical-minded girl I am, who believes that she can achieve things via her own efforts, why would I wish for a job if I can work for a job and I can make them think that I'll be just the person they wanted?

And then there was nothing else. A blackout. And I blew the candle."

23

I started writing a post last Sunday, late at night, about my birthday. When I reread it, I decided not to publish it. Maybe I'll finish it one day, but right now I don't feel that I need to post a piece on love and screwed-up-ness and cynicism. It was good enough to write those things down, no need for the extra button press.

In any case, without any further reflection on the fact, I turned 23 last weekend.

The birthday apple pie by my mother:

Old "who and what"

Indeed, as a guest have noted this week, I updated the "who and what" section on the right side of the page. But have no fear - there is going to be a link to the section I deleted so that the readers can still find out the significance of these people and organizations. And I guess that as soon as there's going to be something permanent enough in my life to be mentioned, I will add that to the new list. Right now everything is a bit blurry. I'm looking for a new picture and even for new colors for the blog too... Change deserves change.


Jani - ex-boyfriend, we were together for more than 3 years.
ASIC - the All Students Interest Council at UC, in which I was Academic Advisor in the 2006/07 academic year.
UCSA Bar - the university bar on campus, where I was working as a chief/bartender voluntarily. I was the Human Resources person in BarCo, the group coordinating the running of the Bar.
The ETSI project - a project I was working on last year.
Psych Lab - I was helping people out as a student assistant, working with MediaLab and DirectRT.
Rosemary - teacher, tutor, boss and adopted mum at UC.
Frank - my Research Project and Honors Thesis supervisor at UC.
Floris - my tutor at UC.
Christel - boss, tutor and friend at UC.
Sali - ex-boyfriend, a great guy

"Getting to know your country, eh?"

Hungarian administration is infamous for inefficiency. So, every time I need to manage my life and get some document I am scared of what is going to happen way in advance. But this one time it was so bad that it was funny. It's a "must share" story.

There's a way to work for someone for a short period of time legally without signing a conract. You can get a small book called the Alkalmi Munkavállalói Könyv in which your employer needs to fill out a row every day you work for him/her. It's good for you because you can work legally and you can claim these days for your pension. It's good for your employer because if they check, there is a legal document saying that you do work there once in a while. It's not as good as working with someone who can give invoices because the employer still needs to pay taxes, in the form of buying stamps in a post office which they need to put in your little book. But at least they can also prove that they paid someone for doing this or that and they don't have missing money unaccounted for.

So, I went to the centre responsible for giving out these documents in my district. Interestingly, it was in another district, not even close by. Well, never mind, I thought, I have time anyway... I went there and I joined the queue. Note that this queue was for getting a number. In about 20 minutes I got to the desk.
"I'd like an Alkalmi Munkavállalói Könyv".
"Do you have a university degree?"
"Yes, I do."
"Have you worked a total of more than 200 days?"
"Not in Hungary but in the EU, yes."
"May I ask you how old you are?"
"23"
"I'm sorry, you'll need to go to the centre for young graduates. You can get it there."

So, I took the underground back to the centre of the city. Nice, old building, air co. Nice. Shorter queue. Only 10 minutes.
"I'd like an Alkalmi Munkavállalói Könyv."
"Do you have a degree?"
"Yes, I do."
"Have you worked a total of more than 200 days?"
"Not in Hungary but I've worked in the EU."
"More than 200 days?"
"Yes, I think so."
"Where's your diploma from?"
"The Netherlands."
"Have you asked for it to be naturalized?"
"Does it need to be naturalized?"
"Of course. Until then we cannot accept your degree... I'm sorry, we can't help you here. You need to go to your district's centre."
"That's where I'm coming from. They sent me here."
"In that case I'm very sorry that they don't know the law, but they need to give you the book."
"Isn't it the same book? Couldn't I just get it here?"
"It's the same, but you need to get it there."

Fantastic. I had my 45 minute journey back.

On the way there I called my mother and told her about the hassle. Her short and apt response was:
"Getting to know your country, eh?"
"Yeah, I guess..."

I figured this was going to take long, so I bought some pasteries and grapes in a foodstore and headed for the initial place. Queue. No way I was going to wait again. Went straight for the guy at the desk.
"Good afternoon, I was here about 2 hours ago and you sent me to the centre for young undergraduates, but they sent me back so could you please give me a number for getting an Alkalmi Munkavállalói Könyv."
One consultation with a colleague and one phone call later I got a number. Waiting. More waiting. Being grateful for being smart enough to buy food. My number!

The guy kept on insisting that he cannot give me a book because I cannot prove that I worked 200 days.
"Come back with your documents."
"Okay. They also told me to talk to this man (x) so could I?" (the boss)
"Sure, your number will be called again."

Half an hour later, at the office of the team coordinator:
"I'd like an Alkalmi Munkavállalói Könyv."
"Why would they send you here for that?"
So, I told him the story.
"Do you want state subsidies?"
"No."
"No allowances?"
"No."
"No money, you just came for the book?"
"All I want is a book, nothing more."

It took 10 minutes to get it...
Apparently, everybody thought I wanted money.

Sziget 2008!

So, I decided to go and it was great! I first explored the (N)GO tents and won 2 T-shirts, a stress-release ball and 3 pieces of fruit and collected some interesting handouts. I also accidentally managed to do some networking too. I was filling out a questionnaire at one of the tents when a guy dropped by the tent asking whether they have anything to do with education and saying that he's looking for students. I asked which uni he was from and it turned out to be Cambridge. Well, a place to be considered :) He gave me the name of a guy I could contact there.

Then I met up with David Eekhof (UC). He was there with friends; a very nice bunch of people. I spent the rest of the day with them. And those we've seen were:

Presidents of the United States - nice concert to start with, good atmosphere

the performance of a clown - since David and co couldn't fully enjoy Kispál és a Borz (understandably, the band's main strength is their lyrics and the lyrics are in Hungarian) we set out to explore the part of the Sziget that is more theater and performance oriented. We saw the performance of a clown, an absolutely crazy guy, very good at improvization and including the audience in the act, and also quite funny.

the performance of Vietnamese puppeteers - amazing show, we only saw the last 20 minutes but that time I spent by thinking about how they can coordinate the puppets so well...

Kaiser Chiefs - yay! Their concert started a bit slowly and there was little interaction between them and the audience but they got really good. A slip of the tongue - Bucharest instead of Budapest - was a tricky moment of the concert, but they made up for it. They played loads of songs we had been listening to at AC, so sometimes I just closed my eyes and tried to picture our living room and the people, with the music playing in the background... Hmm...

Jamiroquai - well, he was the one I really wanted to see. After the almost compulsory bathroom and drink break we arrived slightly late and our group wasn't really up for moving closer. After a while I didn't mind that too much because at least we had quite some space to dance around instead of being squashed into the crowd like sardines in a tincan. He was good and gorgeous!

Modeselector - I didn't know that my favorite club, A38, was going to have a tent at the Sziget, but as it turned out, they had one, and the night I was there they had a great DJ "on board". It was hot inside, we were sweaty, but the guy was great and we were dancing our hearts out!

Kraak & Smaak - there's no way to miss out on a Dutch concert if you are with Dutchies, and I was planning on going anyway. By the time we got there, the concert was almost over, but still, we got a good impression of it. They were really good. I loved that the tent was full of Dutchies. (Maybe I secretly miss them a bit.) At the end of the concert, I, of course, joined the crowd chanting "Holland".

some drum&bass place - the last stop for me during the night. I was getting tired and my stomach wasn't doing too well either, so I decided to call it a day/night and go home.

All in all, a great day/evening/night and it was absolutely worth it! Definitely not the last time of being a Szigeter.

Finding a job...

... would be easier if that was the only thing I would be doing, but actually, it's not, even though it is the only meaningful thing I'm doing nowadays. I submitted 5 or 6 applications so far but no answers yet. I had an interview with a language school and with a job agency. I just hope that I'll find something starting in September. I still don't know whether I'll get any money from being aroud and helping out at the university. I don't think they do either. I should drop a mail to Mihály; maybe he has news.

So, yeah, browsing online job descriptions and preparing at least 6 different versions of my CV is not exactly the most appealing thing one can do during the summer. Not that I have anything else important to do, but still. In the meantime, I'm dancing, watching streaming movies online (hail the Asians, love you forever for putting every single movie online!), watching series online (again, thank you, dear Asian friends), trying to follow the news, downloading music, once in a while meeting up with people. I saw Gábor (1st yr Hungarian at UC) on Sunday at the Corvintető and I spent some time with the extended family on my father's side on Saturday. My little brother was there; he'll soon be 4! When they arrived he was really sleepy and timid but in half an hour he was the most energetic kid I've seen. And I was his target... Of course, I'm not around too often. So, we played. He was the dog and I was the cat and he ate me. Then he was the T-rex and I was a Triceratops, we fought and he ate me. Is there a power issue here? He also has something with undressing people, he really enjoys doing that. I have to admit that after two hours I was tired enough to try to pass him back to his parents, but he didn't seem to like it. He's very cute. It's very hard to resist him. My sister manages, she actually hits him, then he hits back and there is my 16-year old sister and my 4-year-old brother literally fighting at the table... Hmm, family love.

I'm wondering whether I should go to the Sziget. I think I might go on Thursday to see Jamiroquai and to look around. Maybe I can collect some plastic bottles again and get a bag from the environmentalists :) A couple of UC-ers should also be around. David Eekhof and Bram are certainly here. I'd like to see them.

Budapest nights 2 - a night out with my little sister

I am so happy I never had to deal with the whole fuss my father makes about going out to parties or seeing guys. Viki is in a pretty tough situation. My father doesn't really let her go out with her friends - well, there was a big exception just a bit ago when he let her go to the Balaton with a couple of people for a weekend - so we've had this plan of going out together for ages thinking that our dad would trust me enough to let her come. Of course, he gave us the usual "do not" talk, but we were on track: he agreed that Viki can spend a night in town with me.

I picked her up from the Keleti train station, did some shopping and ate gyros and I made pancakes at home. I think these were the best ones thus far. Perfect, light, thin crepes. That's what pancakes should be like.

Since Viki has never been to the Zöld Pardon (ZP), we figured we would start the night there and then move to other places. We arrived a bit after 10, just late enough for the security guards not to let her inside because she was underaged. We almost left when I had an idea. It was quite unlikely that they would ask for my ID - I trust myself to look 18 at least. So, I gave my student ID to Viki and instructed her to look confident and not to freak out when they ask for the ID. We went to the other gate and, guess what, they let her inside. The funny part in this is that she is blond with blue eyes and has a very different facial structure anyway, but the security guard didn't notice the difference between my picture and her. They didn't even ask for her mother's name (which she wouldn't have known, because my mother is not her mother...) or her living address (she wouldn't have known that either...). I went through the gates a bit after her.

I wonder whether the ZP really got worse or whether I got grew older. It was flooded by 16-year-olds. The atmosphere wasn't exactly what I was hoping for, but since we had fought so hard to get in, we decided to stay and dance. I was slightly freaked out by the solitary guys in their thirties hunting for minors. Well, actually, I don't care too much as long as they do not try to get closer to my sister. She was popular that night...

They asked for my ID at the bar when I ordered a glass of wine... That's how much I can trust looking old enough. :S

We went to the Corvintető next. I haven't been there too many times but I liked it whenever I went there. The Corvintető is literally what the word means: the roof of an old/socialist era shopping center called Corvin. The entrance to the elevator is completely hidden and if you didn't know that there was something there, you probably wouldn't have noticed that it was the entrance to such a place. I like the way the Corvintető is constructed. 2 bars on 2 floors, one on the actual roof. You can see the rest of the city around. The place is a bit hectic, so you if you are not familiar with it, you can follow a yellow line drawn from the elevator to the open air area on the roof. It's a very cool idea, and in general, the whole place seemed very well done.

We ordered 2 ice coffees and by the time we drank half of it, a guy (in his thirties, again) was already chatting my sister up. In the meantime, I realized that people were talking in English nearby, and one of them was mentioning carneval... I had to join the conversation. The guy was Dutch, of course, and he was impressed by my basic Dutch and my cultural knowledge :) Then I started talking to a Scottish guy, and even though I was planning on leaving for Café Puerto at one point, my sister wasn't too keen on the idea and we stayed at the Corvintető until 4 30. The sky got gradually lighter and lighter. By the time we were back at home, it was almost light enough not to switch the lights on.

We should organize more nights like this. Maybe we could involve some of her friends and some of mines too...

Budapest nights 1 - salsa edition

One of the things I was really looking forward to when thinking about what it would be like living in Budapest again was exploring the nightlife in Budapest. More precisely, I was wondering whether I would find the same enthusiasm for salsa here. Salsa, mi amor... What else, right? :) I am not an expert on the local salsa scene yet but by now I have a pretty good impression of the local salsa culture, I think.

The good news is that Budapest is big. Much bigger than Utrecht. I guess there is a positive correlation between the size of a city and the number of salsa parties per week. I have to say I cannot complain about not having anywhere to go to dance. My favorite location - so far - has been the terrace of Aréna Pláza, a big complex of shops and supermarkets with a huge terrace that houses a big salsa event on Wednesdays. That's a must! A lot of people, even some dancing in an L.A.-ish or New York-ish style, or in any case, leading "on a line". I have only seen one person dancing "on 2" (meaning that the most prominent step is taken on 2 and not on 1, like usually) though. I'm slowly gettig used to the Cuban rhythm, but getting used to the steps takes longer. I still realize that quite often I don't exactly do what my partners want. Most of them don't mind that too much because they realize that it's a style difference. And those who do... well, it's their loss :)

Another nice location is Café Puerto, on an island of the Danube. The other clubs around are not exactly the type of places I would appreciate, but the Puerto is a salsa place and that's more or less enough. Its salsa parties are also open air, which is great during the summer! And the night bus (or a friend) brings me straight home... Perfect for Fridays and Saturdays.

So, I guess these two places will be my salsa bases. I forgot to mention the no entry fee policy, which is very student friendly. Other then this and the open air thing, the story is the same: a lot of people dancing. Maybe the DJs are less likely to play bachata and merengue over here and the parties are really focused on salsa. And towards the end of the night they play more reggaeton, of course. Most people are friendly and I'm starting to make friends with some people I see all the time. Well, one or two of them, in any case; a great thing if you ask me! Social dynamics are very similar to those in Utrecht. Oversimplifying the issue, there are 3 types of people at these parties:

1. those who arrive in a group and more or less stick to the group
2. those who come with their steady partner and more or less stick to him/her
   
3. those who come alone

It's the hardest to approach type 2 and obviously, since I'm also a type 3, I like type 3 best.

Balaton Sound

I have always liked the Balaton. When I was small - during the real socialist era - we would go on holiday to the lake. Later it got associated to summer camps. Then came the gatherings organized by one of Béla bácsi's friends every August, when we would desert the grown-ups and do what we felt like doing: swimming in the lake, going out, partying. Doing the monokini thing on the inflatable mats on the lake... :) Being free and wild. There was also the night when Sali and I went to Siófok to meet up with a couple of our ex-schoolmates in a camping area. We were out all night, dancing, walking on the lakeside, listening to Sade playing somewhere, sitting in a little harbor being cold and having my scarf around us, taking the bus back to the camping early morning, listening to a very drunk German guy talking about how much in love he was. I think we were also in love.

Balaton-blue (or Balaton-green) water, the peculiar mountains on the Northern side, swans and ducks and boats and small ships, the so-called golden bridge: the reflection of the sunset on the water, and then let's not forget the silver bridge, guess what, the reflection of the moon on the water, ice cream and corncobs, delicious fish. Paddle boats and people windsurfing. Such a great place.

Before the members of BarCo have set off in various directions - the Netherlands, Hungary, Austria and Croatia - we agreed that we would meet up at the Balaton Sound festival. It was quite clear that Flipo's promise should always be taken into account with reservations (i.e. we knew he wouldn't come) and then it turned out that Bojan is at the Exit in Croatia. Paul went to Exeter - you suck, my dear :) - and Sanne... well, Sanne, what were you doing? She certainly wasn't there either... But Dávid and I were. If only for one day, we were there.

I left for the South coast with Irma and Imre on Friday. Irma's family owns a small apartment in a hotel in Balatonföldvár, which is conveniently right next to Zamárdi, where the festival was held. I spent Saturday and Sunday morning with them and then took the train to Zamárdi early afternoon. Irma and Imre were great, we were like a small family, very comfortable together, went to the market in the morning, spent some time by the lake, played cards, played strip-bluff poker etc. We had the proper Balaton experience with me throwing seaweed (or is it lakeweed in this case) on Irma, doing the compulsory handstands in the water - I guess I'm not really growing up, am I? - and watching the fish swimming around from the rocks by the water. Oh, and before I forget to mention it: it was hot. 36-37 degrees.

I arrived to the Balaton Sound slightly earlier than Dávid, so I explored the area a bit. I was sweaty enough by the time I got to the festival - a long walk on a dusty road without much sign of whether I am going in the right direction apart from the increasing density of young people with wristbands - so I was looking forward to Dávid's arrival. I was a bit worried that if I went into the water I would miss his call or that my phone would be stolen and then we wouldn't be able to find each other. But we found each other, swam in the lake, dried in a couple of minutes lying in the sun, and I went to hunt for a lángos. I had a lángos with sour cream and garlic. It's nice when you can eat garlic with someone - a good friend, for example, who might complain but you wouldn't give a damn because he's not going to get that close anyway. Garlic is a sign of trust.

The evening had two highlights: the Sergent Garcia concert and the Fatboy Slim concert. I have never heard of the former before; it was a band of mostly Cuban musicians playing salsa, cumbia and reggae. The atmosphere was great at their concert. They were relaxed, the music was nice and happy, the singer was good at establishing a connection with the audience, the vocalist was moving her ass as a proper Cuban salsa girl - what else would you wish for? Then we had a bit of a trouble getting into the Anima Sound System performance, who were late anyway, so actually there was no point anyway and we headed to the main stage again to meet up with a friend of Dávid's (or a relative?) and see Fatboy Slim.

Had I not seen Chemical Brothers last summer at the Sziget, I would now say that Fatboy Slim was amazing. He was really good. But it couldn't live up to the Chemical Brothers concert somehow, I felt. Maybe only because of the smaller setting. But it was certainly worth it. The guy was energetic, the music was as good as expected and the audience was screaming for more. Standing there it felt as if the bass was beating your heart for you and the light from the huge broadsides on the top of the stage were blinding. Great physical experience.

I have to admit Dávid and I couldn't party on until late. Shame, shame, we got tired, and actually, there was no party tent that we really liked... So, we slept in the tent of the friends of a friend of his - not exactly the crowd I like but they were very nice letting us stay there. The storm that was announced for the evening did not struck until early morning. How lucky! Already in the afternoon they warned everybody of a big storm approaching, with 100 km/h wind. The lifeguards got everybody out of the lake, the organizers made announcements about possible cancelling of programs and asked everyone to firmly fix their tents on the ground. It was such a relief when the sun started shining again during the Sergent Garcia concert. But the rain did arrive in the morning - if not the storm yet - and Dávid and I waited until it got softer and left the festival at 7.20 am.

Now, it should be fairly easy to get to Budapest from Zamárdi. You need to take a train. But then... it turned out that the employees of the national railways were on strike. What a wonderfully chosen date to go on a strike. The solution was to go to Siófok first, then to take a bus to Veszprém and then another one to Budapest. The storm caught us in Siófok. In a couple of minutes, centimeters of rain has fallen and the wind was so strong that when we were standing under a 5 meter wide roof at the bus station, the rain still got everyone wet under the roof...

The trip home was long and tiring... I drifted in and out of consciousness on the buses and got home around 1 pm. And then I passed out for 5 more hours :)


And that's us. Me with the typical after-Balaton-swim hair and Dávid with his typical Dávid-smile and almost-puppy eyes before the first concert. Paul and Sanne, if you are reading this: you missed out big time!

A day in the life of...

I love the voice of Ella Fitzgerald. I love my new speakers :) It's almost midnight and I had a very nice day.

I decided that I would go to the APEH (tax) office early in the morning so that I wouldn't have to wait too much. 6.55: alarm goes off. Snooze. 7.00: alarm goes off again. Snooze. 7.05: alarm goes off again. I had some kinky sexual dream - why does my alarm have to interrupt such things? I set my alarm to 7.30. 7.30: alarm goes off, but the kinky dream didn't come back. Oh well, whatever, I'm sleepy. Snoozing until 7.55. Okay, I will certainly not make it to the APEH by 8.15, which is when the office opens.

I was smart enough to put a book into my bag - just in case I had to wait there. Well, I had to wait. Not as much as I thought, actually, I was done within 1.5 hours. I had to arrange my insurance. Now I'll have to pay 4350 Ft per month because I'm not a student and I'm not working. At least now I can be sure that my medical expenses, if any, will be covered by the state. You never know.

I dropped by my parents' place to say hi, but apart from my fantastic dog, Csoki, no one was at home. Csoki didn't even bother to stand up, but I went there just to tickle his belly a bit. I think he might have known that I would go up to him anyway. Lazy, lovely bitch. He would be the perfect dog equivalent of Garfield: sleep, eat, sleep, eat, nothing can disturb him. I made myself a great cappuccino with proper milk froth and honey, eat some sour cherry soup and did the dishes to make up for it.

Afternoon nap. Long, long afternoon nap. The sun was shining in the window, the room was bright, which is how I would prefer to fall asleep every day, if I could. Snoozing pattern repeated.
I had an appointment with Mihály Racsmány at BME (Budapest University of Technology) at 3 and I was there exactly at 3. He's a researcher there and if everything works out the way it should, I will be working with him from September onward. From what I've seen from him so far, he's a cool guy. I think he really is making an effort to inform me on what they are up to and to involve me. Unfortunately, he will only know in August whether he can pay me and give me a proper position. I'm hoping for the best. Everything else depends on this. No, not everything. But money issues certainly do. So, the amount of money I need to make with another (still to be found) job does too, which influences what kind of job I can take, or to be more realistic, what kind of job can take me.

Immediately after leaving Mihály's office, I dropped by A38, my ever favorite place in town. It's an old Soviet ship on the Danube, with a bar, a restaurant, a café and - most importantly - a concert hall inside. They stripped the ship from all the engine related stuff, and that's how they could build a proper hall inside (I think), they have the best jazzy concerts and whenever everybody is moving to the same rhythm, you can feel the ship moving up and down. It's absolutely supercool. I went up to the bar and asked the girl behind the bar how she got the job. She introduced me to the Financial Manager who introduced me to the HR person who gave me his e-mail address and told me to send him an e-mail. Better than nothing - I thought and left for my next appointment.

I met András (or Szekér, based on his last name) at the Puskin café where we had a nice chat and I listened to his ideas about the events at the Gay Pride. According to him, it's not the worst thing that there are a handful of radicalists who do what they do, but the way the media depicts the whole thing. They draw a parallel between provocation (simply by the act of marching) on behalf of gay people and the aggressive acts of the radicalists, which can hardly be put on the same agenda. Then, some opinionated article said that since homosexuals cannot be legally discriminated against, there is now no reason to march. Szekér's answer was that this is as if you said that since the points of the March 15 revolution are now all fulfilled, there is no reason to celebrate a memorial day on March 15. I like this analogy. It's smart.

András said they are having an EVIME (the Hungarian UWC national committee) board meeting about the storkcamp (the introduction camp for the newbies) at another place, so I could drop by. So, I did. Igor, my Hungarian co-year from AC was also there, and after the meeting I invited him over for tea to catch up. So, he came and we had a nice conversation about guys, AC and the job market.

Ah, I love Frank Sinatra's voice too. And my new speakers :)

Gay Pride Budapest

There are some reasons why I cannot imagine living in this country for long. One of them is the intolerance and stupidity of its people. This is how the gay pride march ended yesterday:

(Photos are from Népszabadság and Magyar Nemzet)

Budapest so far

Security guard: "I'm sorry, I can't help, but hey, you are pretty."

At the greengrocer's, while picking out the corns I liked:
"So, are they delicious?"
"Oh yes... Just as delicious as the first kiss."

Bureacracy: it took 3 days to get a stamp in my student ID because on the first day they did not accept my documents (it stated that I'm a student until August 2008 but it was from December, while they wanted one from January at least - as if it mattered really) and on the second day they were unexpectedly closed.

Theft: my bike is gone... it was such a nice one. I was really sad. I loved going around in the city by bike, even though there aren't too many bikepaths around. I guess I'll try to get another one from the Hungarian equivalent of marktplaats.

Foam party: with Irma and her boyfriend, Imre; a great nigth out! We left Budapest around 6 pm, Irma drove us to Szeged, then we had dinner at a restaurant, then we moved to a very nice retro chill-out place to have a couple of drinks, then we went to the party and danced until around 2 am (I have to say I'm very happy that Imre is not very jealous when Irma and I dance together), got in bed around 3, were up by 6/6.30 and drove back.

Salsa: everybody is dancing Cuban style here, which is a bit annoying for someone who dances LA. It must be like when you speak languages that are very similar and you can eventually understand each other but it is quite troublesome. So far I danced with two guys who danced LA, and with one who was very willing and able to switch once in a while. I've been to 4 parties in one week - not bad :) Someone suggested that I should go to a party where all the fans of the competitive dances go. I think I'll check it out.

Food and groceries: so much cheaper than in Utrecht :) I bought a kg of peaches for 1 euro yesterday. I love the central market, it's a beautiful place and I can find everything I need.

Pet: I have a snail :) Yes, a water snail. Not named it yet, but it's yellow and it's slowly going around in a big glass IKEA vase and it likes the plant that I put in the water. Soon I'll get a couple of fish too.

My new home :)

The girl is back in town!

I've spent so many days packing that by now I could consider it as a part of my normal daily routine. In fact, for many days it seems that I've almost only been packing. Packing all your stuff up and preparing to leave is depressing. I gave my furniture to Dávid and Gábor with the condition that if I end up in Utrecht in a year, I'll get them back. I left two boxes of random things for Fiona - she can have fun with selecting things that she likes. I gave a bag full of teas, coffee and candles to Lynn and I sold my bike to Rose Ann for 20 euros, hihi. I warned her that she should break in time; the breaks don1t work too well. So, even then, I filled up a large suitcase, a smaller suitcase (which was just small enough to be allowed to be labelled a hand luggage), a bag for my skis (which also hosted 3 pillows, a scarf, numerous pairs of socks and all my shoes besides my skis for those couple of hours), and of course, I had my laptop in a laptop bag and I had a proper handbag. I still had to give a bag full of things to Lynn, which I will pick up next year when I'm back.

So, yes, I could write about how it feels to pack up your life and leave, but I don't feel like getting emotional at the moment. I guess you appreciate that too. Some tears were shed, some depressed, distressed and sad hours went by, but now it's time for something completely new. I'm starting a life completely on my own, as a grown-up young woman. Exciting, isn't it?

I am in the process of moving all my stuff to my new place, just 7 minutes away from where I used to live with my parents. That's a convenient distance in terms of going over for dinner or going over to walk the dog if they are not at home. Last night my whole floor was covered with clothes and things ranging from body lotion through an mp3 player to a tea egg. That's actually not too hard to achieve if the full area of your apartment is around 30 m3. I bet I could cover a larger surface with my mess though :) By now the flat is in a pretty civilized state. I've had a lot of firsts already: first proper meal, first eyebrow picking, first washing up, first broken glass. First blog post :)

It's very gezellig. I feel at home here. I expected it to be a bit worse, but since the place really looks like the way I wanted it, it feels like a familiar environment. After all, I did spend a whole summer and a winter furnishing it... So, it feels like MY home. There are only a few things missing: a laundry bag, speakers (I want them for my computer), a headset (so that I can skype) and a fishtank (yes, I'll get fish!).

I'll post some pictures later...

Graduated!

It's raining outside. Smooth, quiet rain. I was thinking about going to town today, but this weather makes the day more appropriate for other things. Such as cleaning and arranging stuff. I threw out half of my notes and the remaining folders still fill up half a box. Maybe I'll just have to leave a box with someone. I might return to this place anyway. It would be nice then if I didn't have to start everything from the beginning and I'd have my own bedding, some books etc. If I end up going somewhere else, I can still come and pick up the things I need and bring them home. And yes, it's also the perfect weather to write a post. I owe a post on graduation; after all I've been working for this little A5 sheet of paper for 3 years...

It's an honor to be asked to be the valedictorian, and it is a nice job, but it is also very stressful. I had 3 weeks to figure out what I wanted to say and whatever I did, it was always at the back of my mind. You might ask why I never wrote about it if I knew it 3 weeks in advance. Well, the Dean asked me not to spread the word. Nevertheless, I did tell some friends and it seemed that they took care of spreading the word because the closer we got to the big day, the more people came up to me to congratulate. 3 days before graduation I restarted the whole speech. I didn't like the original version. It was too standard. So, I went to to the bar in the afternoon, I got a Red Bull, sat down at our BarCo meeting table, and started writing. Handwriting :) I realized that words flow much easier if you take a piece of paper and a pen. Typing blocked me from putting things down. So, I started writing different lines of thoughts on different pages and once I had enough, I moved to Voltaire to type it up. I liked it. Of course, I added stuff the last night. There is no real work without time pressure.

My parents came 2 days earlier than graduation to have time to look around and visit some places. On the day itself, in the first 5 minutes of meeting them my mother already managed to piss me off. I sent them inside. We were outside the theater for a long while, taking pictures, talking, being excited. Everybody in a gown boiled under their outfit. I loved my purple dress. It was absolutely beautiful and very airy. The procession into the hall was lovely. Everybody in the audience was standing and applauding. I wasn't nervous at all during those couple of minutes. Simply happy that we got there. 3 years of hard work, damn right, we deserved it.

The whole ceremony was very nice. The commencement speaker was the mayor of Amsterdam, and his speech was much better than that of the last commencement speaker, but I have to admit that I was concentrating way too much on what I was going to say to pay attention to everything he said. I was glad he really addressed the graduates instead of just talking about himself. Maybe he talked a bit too much about himself too, but at least there was a message. The Dean was okay. We got our diplomas. My shoes almost fell down while on the stairs, but in the last minute I managed to get my heel back in :) Before graduation I thought that the best entrance would be to fall right on your face when walking up to the stage - it would certainly take the stress away. It would also make the whole thing very funny and then you could show it to your grandchildren: "look, here is granny getting her diploma", bang. But I didn't fall. I did put the knot on my belt from the right to the left though instead of doing the thing with the cap. I didn't have a cap either, you see.

They said I wouldn't really see much when I was going to speak on stage, and it's true that I didn't see much of the faces, but I saw most of the silhouettes. I wished I didn't. The theater was completely full. I don't mind talking in front of people, I actually love giving presentations in class, but this was huge. Fucking up in front of a class is fine. Fucking up at your graduation is not so fine. So, yes, I was nervous. But it went well. Especially based on the feedback. So many people I didn't know came up to me to compliment. Parents, random guests, tutors I didn't know. What I thought would be my 10 minutes of fame ended up being something like 3 hours of fame. So, I was all happy; the message was well received. Floris said that the Dean's head went quite red when I said that UC is pretentious, but that's something I expected to happen the least. He didn't get a heart attack or anything, so it's all good. I did talk to him afterward and he didn't mention anything about my criticisms.

The reception was good. I couldn't eat anything all day, so I got tipsy in no time. In the morning I couldn't get anything down, and I figured that it's better not to eat than to throw up. Later there was no chance to eat. I muched on a piece of biscuit just before I had to get on stage and that was it. So, the three glasses of wine could just as well have been a whole bottle and it felt so nice. The moment I got off stage, I finally felt the stress evaporate, and the light tipsiness at the reception removed all the traces of nervousness. I was very hungry though. My parents and I reserved a table at a tapas place for half past 6, which more or less the time I got there after the reception and I ate as if I hadn't eaten for two days...

I had a shower when I got home, lied across my double bed naked and passed out for half an hour. Then only got back to bed around 6 am.

And it is indeed a summa cum laude.

YB pages

Just some quick thoughts

Teaching was amazing! I really enjoyed it. It's nice to see when people finally understand and start to aply stuff. They look happy, and I'm happy because their success is my success.

Bojan left a couple of days ago. This morning Flipo and Andrew left too. BarCo is falling into pieces... Yesterday I transferred my responsibilities to Natasha, so she is the one making the schedule for the graduation party. Yay. Yesterday I also swang one of the lamps :) "We built this bar. Our blood, sweat and tears..." Whoohoo. Max was chiefing. He didn't really like it.

This whole graduation business is quite stressful. I got my tickets yesterday. I didn't order a sweater or a cap or a gown, but I did order a DVD. I'd like to have the footage. I think I'll be quite anxious on the day itself. I kind of wish it was over already. It will be, in due time... Haha, I wonder what the Dean will say afterwards, if he will say anything.

My parents are coming today. As in, mom and Béla bácsi. It would certainly be less stressful without them, but I'll be fine. I hope they come with good intentions. This is going to be my day. I still have to find a restaurant to eat at after the ceremony.

And then we're going to party and be hungover for a whole day. It should be nice :)

Oh, and BarCo is going to reunite at the Balaton Sound festival!!!

Rain, teaching and summa cum laude

I like days like this. Waking up not too late, staying in bed for a bit, having a nice breakfast and then starting to work. I rediscovered nutella toasties - we used to eat them at AC. One of those amazing things that you can only have with moderation. I also rediscovered green tea. I used to drink loads during my first semester, especially to stay awake during exam period, but also because I liked it.

I'm sorry I've been quite bad with my e-mails. Sanne dropped by today asking what happened because I don't answer e-mails and this is like the end of the world. I'm fine, really.

Tomorrow I'm going to teach. I'll get Rosemary's class for 2 days to train them to program their experiments. They don't know anything about DirectRT, so it's all from scratch. I spent 2 hours today with trying to figure out how to get the program recognize the input files on the computers which are not in the psych lab and preparing the files for tomorrow's session. I'm looking forward to tomorrow! I've done this a couple of times, but never without any supervision. Getting a class completely (ok, a small class, but a small class is a class too) is really nice, well, at least I feel that the quality of my work is really appreciated. So, guys, everyone, better do well tomorrow and Monday and not let me down... Those experiments are going to work well.

Do you ever have those days when you think that the rain really adds to your day? I've been waiting for the sunshine the whole past week, especially because whenever there was sunshine, I was still working. And today was another one of those grey, rainy, Dutch days. But somehow it felt like the right weather today. Voltaire, DirectRT, Excel, Notepad, a huge mug of green tea, the soundtrack of Dirty Dancing, the rain outside: it was the perfect setting for work.

I got all my grades today. Haha, I was completely right about creative writing. Whatever, I still have my summa cum laude.

Having learnt from UC

Being done now (yes, yes, I'm done!!!) I find myself reflecting a lot about what I learnt at this place. It's quite clear with academics... I hardly had any idea about what I wanted to do when I came here. I think I mentioned law, languages and journalism in my application letter. I realized that law is not for me in the first semester, I only took Dutch and I have never even completed it to the 200 level, and I never got to take journalism. Instead, I found Psychology, Neuroscience and Linguistics, and I'm really happy I did. I think I complained a lot about not being challanged enough and not having learnt enough here, but comparing what I know now to what I knew when I came here, the change is pretty big. Actually, maybe I shouldn't say "what I know"; it should be something like "what I am aware of". The further you get in your education, the more you realize how many things there are that you don't know. In any case, I certainly learnt academic stuff here.

It's a bit harder to pinpoint what you learn on a social level. Also, because for me this wasn't the first time I lived away from home, in an international community, with other students. So, it all kind of blurs together with the experience I had at AC, in Wales. I'm afraid I already have learnt most of the stuff at AC. But it's not very easy to pinpoint these things. You change all along. Caro said she heard someone saying that I changed a lot since last year. That I used to be very sweet and now I'm much more reserved and distrustful. It's hard to see that from my position, but I guess it's true and it wouldn't be surprising at all.

So, yes, I did learn a couple of lessons. Some of them I would have preferred never to encounter, but they were obviously useful. I learnt a lot from the Bar, especially about power structures. I learnt a lot from not being admitted, about brick walls and why they are there (I think I'll get back to this later) and about people's attitudes toward other people in more vulnerable positions. I learnt from ASIC, about glass ceilings. I learnt to eat more and then to eat less :)

It annoys me though that I cannot separate the more general things, especially in my attitudes, that I gained from UC and AC. I guess it's the anniversary of leaving AC and being done here that make me want to reflect and figure out what I got from where. Probably it's not that important; I have it now and that's what matters. Still, I find it intriguing where it came from.

Last night I was surfing on YouTube and I found a beautiful video. It's the "last lecture" of Randy Pausch, a professor at Carnegie Mellon University, in which he talked about how to achieve childhood dreams. Really, he talked more about how to live a meaningful life. I was amazed by his energy. There is this guy, terminally ill, quite young, the doctors tell him that he has half a year maximum, and he has twice as much energy and optimism than any healthy person I know. Truly remarkable. He was talking about his life and the lessons he learnt. He was the one who mentioned brick walls and that there is a reason for why they are there. Brick walls will show us and will enable us to show how badly we want things. So true. If you ever have a free 75 minutes, I suggest you watch it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ji5_MqicxSo.

Those Voltaire days...

And once again, I'm sitting in Voltaire, working on my paper. I'm more than halfway through according to the wordcount, and less than halfway through based on what I want to say. And a bit surprisingly, Voltaire is not empty. A bunch of third years are still working on their essays and research projects. We are hardcore. Luckily, the sun is not around.

Sunshine, paper, champagne with orange juice

So, I decided that since my cross-cultural psych paper is due in 2 days, I might as well start writing it. I read a lot of literature and I have a lot of notes; now I only have to put it all together and figure out whether emotional experience and emotional expression is universal or culture specific. Both, of course. Duh. Anyway, it's going to be a nice paper, especially if I stop being distracted.

But it's nice to be distracted on such a beautiful day. Ok, the sun is not shining anymore, but it was shining just about an hour ago. I had to go back to my unit to pick up my pincard and I bumped into Jinon and Eliav in front of the building. They were chilling on the wooden thingy in front of G, and so I joined them for some time. I thought I would stay for 10 minutes, but I think we were talking for an hour about things like graduation, not wearing caps and gowns, the origins of Hungarian language and why Israelis are not allowed in Syria. Just sitting there in the sun, drinking champagne with orange juice, enjoying not having to rush anywhere.

I should start thinking about what to eat tonight, but maybe I could just eat pasta again. Yesterday I made a really nice pasta dish with sundried and fresh tomatoes and black olives. Oh yeah, baby. I could also make a huge salad. I even have an avocado. I do like Dining Hall, but I have to admit I like being able to eat what I feel like at the given moment. I decided I am going to treat myself with nice food during the summer term, which is not to be equated with a lot of food, but delicious, quality food. And I'm going to treat myself with a lot of dancing. My Friday and Sunday evenings are certainly going to revolve around salsa.

Oh, btw, this is my 150th post, and there have been more than 4000 visits to the site in 15 months, so I guess this should be time for reflection, but instead, let's just say that I'm happy I found this output domain and that I hope that sometimes interesting comes up for you, guys, too :)

x

Almost done

I was quite right in my last post: this has been a very hectic one and a half weeks. I made a new to do list every day to keep track of what is to be done still, and even though it was very reassuring that the list got shorter and shorter, I was completely exhausted by the end of the week. I spent every night in Voltaire, usually until 2, when security kicked us out, then I got up in the morning and continued studying/writing papers/writing my creative writing portfolio. I already saw myself pulling an allnighter for the portfolio, so I worked a bit on it every day/night, so that I could hand it in without having to stay up all night. I handed in 22,000 words in total on Thursday and had 2 exams on Friday. It wasn't nice. But it's over. Almost. I still have a deadline for a paper this weekend, and then I'm completely done with UC.

The days since the end of the week just went by somehow. I only realized Friday evening that I scheduled myself for the early shift (how could I do that to myself?), which was right after the after-formal-dinner shift, which was after the formal dinner, which was right after my last exam, which was right after my one but last exam etc. so it really wasn't the best day to chief. Thomas Hart sticked around in the bar till 2.30-ish, when his wife called that he should maybe go home, but Floris stayed until 3.30, which was basically when I decided to go home and take a shower before starting the BarCo initiation. So, we left the bar together and got a lovely "children, be good; remember what we taught you at sex ed" comment from Quirijn and co, after which I just made a note on that they should be laid and then they would stop being so sexually frustrated. BarCo met at 4 for the initiation and it probably took about an hour to get everybody from new BarCo. As we were supposed to, we made them do stupid stuff and then we made them breakfast as a compensation. Poor guys...

And then an amazing Beach Party on Monday in the Stadium. Luckily most pictures were taken at the beginning of the evening, when I wasn't yet too drunk (well, maybe the picture of me grabbing Sanne's tits would testify otherwise)... I was so hungover the next day. I think I was still drunk when I woke up, and the headache came only an hour or so afterwards and it lasted till around 8 pm. It was almost as bad as after BarCo installation.

No more Dining Hall; I should decide what to cook tonight :)

Exam period #6

The last one. Wow. I'm graduating in less than a month. Which means that I should be studying now. This week is probably going to be the busiest of all during my UC career... I should replenish my stocks of green tea and Red Bull and try to avoid chocolate :)

No more complaints about the weather... It's summer!

Ok, now I'll really get down to studying.

Mini-break

It's a mini-break till Monday! I'm so glad I didn't go home.... I probably wouldn't have been able to get any work done. But now I have 3,5 more days to catch up with my work. Not that I got anything done yet, but there's still time. The moment I got back from Amsterdam from Queen's Night/Day, I passed out on my bed for 3 hours. I'm still so exhausted. Salsa, staying up late, Queen's Night, having Caroline over and staying up late... I should really start to get into a healthy rhythm of sleeping.

Anyway, I made a to do list yesterday and basically got everything not so important done. I.e. I wrote to People Team, I sent a facebook message to Sam, I e-mailed Rony, I e-mailed a prof at Brown and I made the two photo collages that I was planning on making for the Bar.

Still to do:
- test 4 more people
- short story for creative writing
- blog of recovering anorexic girl for creative writing
- start cross-cultural psych paper
- check the bartenders' spam list
- do the dishes
- answer the cross-cultural psych summary e-mail
- dance/workout (did it yesterday but that's not enough)
- answer Anke-Marit's e-mail about the presentation
- e-mail cog sci guest presenter
- wash bedsheets

Why is the sun not shining? It's supposedly spring.

Suppose...

Suppose that you need to hand in two assignments over the weekend and finish another two for Monday. Suppose that you went to bed at 1.30 am on Friday and then got up at 3.30 to be the "responsible BarCo member" as we call the BarCo on duty for the after-Prom shift. (Ooops, did I say Prom instead of Charity Ball? Oh dear. Sorry.) Suppose that you get home from the after-Prom shift around 7. (I think I just did it again...) What do you do?

You download GIMP, start searching on the web for sites that tell you the basics and start making your yearbook entry! :)

This has probably been my most creative weekend at UC, ever. I made fried coated bananas on Friday for the picnic that we organized on the evening of Prom. (I give up.) We were planning on going to the woods, but eventually we stayed on campus. We picked up the table from Lynn's living room, set it up on the middle of the Quad, and Laurens, Gijs, Lynn and I had dinner right in the middle of our lovely pebble field. What a nice atmosphere! We're going to organize the large version of this during summer term. Have a huge row of tables and a Communist dinner.

Then came the Prom after party, which started very slowly and became quite entertaining eventually. By the end, I managed to wake up properly and as I just said, I started working on my YB piece right after coming home. I wrote the piece a couple of days ago already, but I had to create a nice layout for the whole page. Now I understand what Rosemary means when she maintains that UC students can do anything. You just figure out yourself how to do it. I did the same with DirectRT and now I did that with GIMP. And the end result is surpisingly okay, I think. Now that I got you curious, I won't paste the picture in here until the YB comes out. Otherwise, where's the sense of curiousity and excitement if I show it right now?

In the afternoon, I went to town to pick up the prints that I ordered for the two new collages for the Bar. I think I have about 100 pictures printed now and I'm afraid that it will be way too much for two frames (2 big frames though). But that's fine; I'm going to put the leftover into the small frames and hang them up where they used to be. I also bought the two big frames, so now one of my beds is completely taken over by two frames and 100 pictures. I also bought a top and earrings, and pesto and sundried tomatos, thinking about summer term already... It was such a nice afternoon - sunshine, shopping, crowded town (that reminds me of Budapest). I got started with the collages, but then I realized that I should do something else...

... the BarCo YB page. Since no one seemed to be willing to make the YB page for the bar, I sent an e-mail that I'll do it. I guess I was quite enthusiastic after the small success of my personal page. Somehow, however, making two pages takes longer than one... So, I started yesterday evening, and I finished it after getting up today. I think it looks fine and the rest of BarCo likes it as well, which is quite important.

And what now? Get started on my assignments. Then dance! (Btw, I just found out that Peter, one of our stats teachers, who is an absolutely cool guy, is also dancing at the Winkel van Sinkel. We have never actually seen each other there, but maybe I'll bump into him one weekend. :)

Did I say that I am quite tired?

Post-Gents' Night Post

Okay, 6 and a half hours on high-heels and in a corsette IS really too much. But once in a lifetime it is bearable.

Sanne, Saskia and I started out with a little photo session in the empty bar. After all, it doesn't happen every day that you're there, dressed like a - hm, how to put this nicely... I think I'll just restart the phrase - showing a lot of skin. People slowly started to arrive around 10.30, and in half an hour everything was soaked in the smell of cigars. So were we.

It was very weird to have only guys in the bar, especially with the overwhelming majority of girls on campus. Luckily, they were all very peaceful, and the only manifestation of the overflowing testosteron was in the amount of beer drinking and the checking out of our boobs. Since they knew us, there weren't many inappropriate comments, and those which were probably the most insulting ones came from our friends who (think) can afford it.

The climax of the evening was of course the stripper, who did have a beautiful body, but whose face wasn't exactly the prettiest I've ever seen. (Girls, why oh why do you have to get your lips filled up?) She was the Dutch pole dancing champion. Unfortunately, we didn't have a pole :) So, she prepared a simple stripping show and abused one of the guys slightly. I would have been freaked out if I was him, but he dealt with it pretty well. It was interesting to see the same kind of anticipation in the guys now as in the girls on Ladies' Night. Somehow the guys were a bit calmer and more sophisticated, while our excitement was very obvious for an outside ovserver, maybe reflecting not only gender differences and the differential availability/use of porn materials for males and females, but also the unequal gender ratio on campus.

The best picture I took of the stripper:

And my favorite picture of the sexy ladies behind the bar:

The bartenders showed up after the stripper's act, which was really a relief after having been through something like an early shift already. We could finally stop for a while, sit down and take a break. Officially, the bar was supposed to be open till 2, but it was quite obvious that with this many people we couldn't close at 2 and that we would be lucky if we could close around 3. Closing was actually quite problematic. Eqvites and Allure once again thought that they enjoy some kind of priviledge in terms of what rules apply to them and what they can do. They behaved extremely annoyingly. We already asked them to leave twice when one of the guys stripped off half naked and started to do the haka. Now, performing the haka is beautiful, entertaining, a form of art, but not at f*cking 3 45 in the morning, when we are trying to round everything off and close after having been in the bar for 6 hours and having kept the bar open almost 2 hours longer than we should have. Seriously, as if they knew what it was like. As if they would have ever washed a single glass behind the bar. The girls were bitchy, the guys were cocky that we insisted on them leaving, so we got to the point of "get out! now!". I was simply annoyed, but Sanne was very emotionally upset that people afford themselves this kind of attitude toward the work that people put into running the bar. Sometimes I also wonder why the hell we are doing it if people are so extremely rude to us... Bouke tried to talk to Sanne when he saw how really upset she was, and as much as I understood their conversation, which was in Dutch naturally, he tried to make up for it and he put up a couple of chairs. But one person's attitude will never make up for the whole group's and I just don't see anything changing in that.